Where have I been?

Three days. That's a record, I think. But I, like Mister Ed will only speak when I have something to say, so I hope this wait has been worth the effort.

Sometimes I think I should be jotting down these little life events because they'd make a nice screenplay - then I realize I am.

Waiting in line at the grocery last night, in my usual "15 items or less - cash only" lane for what seemed like hours but was only minutes while a price-check went on, the woman in front of me piled her 15 items or less on the conveyor. When she got to the Holy Grail of the register, the cashier informed her that it was a cash only lane, and the credit card she was planning to use was inert. Somehow, the customer had missed the "Cash Only" part of the "15 items or less" sign. I wondered what she was doing while we were standing around.

Today at work, slightly after noon, a co-worker lurked into my cubicle and started on a monologue that roughly resembled something work-related. Even though I had a nice salad (purchased at the grocery - hence the link), a beverage and a spread-out newspaper featuring the crossword puzzle in front of me, [I eat lunch at my desk to avoid the banality of my co-workers' conversations] I had to inform him (nicely) that I was on my lunch break and would answer his query when I was finished. He seemed startled that a person with such accoutrements would be engaged in a non-work activity so near to noon-time, but roughly apologized and moved along.

My mistake was going over to his cubicle after lunch and inquiring as to his inquiry. He engaged me in a lengthy diatribe over something that really should have been discussed with my supervisor, who was conveniently out of the building. I listened politely and soon realized that it was 15 minutes of my life that had been sacrificed and I was grateful that I do not have to account for my time.

Dexter might be the best show on television. If you don't have Showtime, it might be worth the cost to subscribe so you can see it. Trouble is, they're midway through the season, so you might have to find it on some pay-per-view on demand deal. So, my official count of the best shows on television now include:

The Office - Still great, but fading fast if they don't find a way to spice up the comedy and lay off the romantic drama.

Heroes - I'm ready to bail on it if it doesn't pick up the pace a little. It's a big investment and a complicated cast to keep track of. If you haven't been with it from the beginning, you're lost, which probably explains their falling ratings.

My Name Is Earl - Better now that they've gotten Earl out of jail and back on the list.

The Late Show with David Letterman - Letterman is and has always been funnier than Leno and is still the King of Late Night if you can stay up till midnight to see it.

American Chopper - The Tuetul's are still the kings of "reality" TV.

Mythbusters - Adam and Jamie are one thing, but there's nothing like Kari Byron for brains and beauty.

Dirty Jobs - Mike Rowe combines dry wit with hard work to elevate mess to an art form.

Parking Wars - Nothing beats the Philadelphia Parking Authority.

Honorable Mention: The New Adventures of Old Christine and Big Bang Theory. Julia Louis-Dreyfus wins the battle of "best show after Seinfeld" and the Big Bang gang is a nice ensemble cast, even though you want to smack Sheldon. Then, of course there's Kaley Cuoco.