The Feats of Strength

I saw a little of Rich Little at the White House Correspondents Dinner on Saturday night on the CSpan. I say "a little" not to be coy, but because impressionists creep me out. They seem so excited about being able to "do" someones voice, then they go about making up junk that the person is supposed to say. Little was "doing" Andy Rooney [one of my writing heroes] and he starts by telling us that he will "do" Andy, [creepy] and then goes into the "Ever notice" junk and telling jokes like "I wonder, if you wanted to grow seedless watermelon, what would you plant?"

The president laughed, because he didn't know either.

So that Sangina guy is off American Idol? I saw some clips of him on another show and it sounds like he was lucky to get as far as he did. I suppose there's a record deal coming. Meanwhile, the show is advertising something they are calling American Idol Gives Back. Great. They have made about 18 trillion dollars and they are hyping up the fact that they're donating the phone-vote money to charity. They should be giving back the millions of hours of personal time they have stolen from viewers.

Then, there's the ghastly audio of Alec Baldwin (one of the world's five luckiest men) screaming at his 12 year-old daughter because she didn't have her cell phone turned on. He called her a "rude, thoughtless little pig", which may or may not be true. Regardless, it is probably disconcerting to hear your father say it out loud.

I think we're a little slow to adapt to changing technology. The cell phone is a convenience that I don't think we fully understand, yet we take it for granted. To get so upset because a kid didn't turn on an appliance - one that didn't exist when the parent was a child - is a bit odd. How did we keep in touch with our estranged children before we had cell phones?

BEAUFORT, S.C. - A Navy Blue Angel jet crashed during an air show Saturday, plunging into a neighborhood of small homes and trailers and killing the pilot. Air shows seem to me to be as useless as power boat racing and decaffeinated coffee. What's the point? The risk/reward scenario is way out of whack. Besides, I think there are a fair number of people who go to those things expecting to see a crash, and if they don't see one, they leave disappointed. If I ever have a job where people are pissed because I didn't die, I think I would have to find another line of work.

Which brings us to our quote of the day. A high school in Fresno, California is allowing a transgender student to run for Prom King. Cinthia Covarrubias who, while biologically female, makes people think she is a man by dressing as one. Here are the words of wisdom:

"I like lesbians, but they shouldn't be allowed to run for King," said senior Erich Logan, 18, as he stood outside the stately high school building.

I like lesbians, too.

"Screws fall out all the time. The world's an imperfect place."

- John Bender