Saturday, August 19, 2006

Stupid Stuff Saturday

LAS VEGAS, NV - City officials have made it illegal to sleep within 500 feet of urine or feces, but the city attorney says the new law was passed by mistake and won't be enforced. The new ordinance makes it illegal to "knowingly establish" sleeping quarters near defecation unless that "deposit" is made in an appropriate sanitary facility. It was passed unanimously by the Las Vegas City Council as part of a bill making it a misdemeanor to go to the bathroom in public. City Attorney Brad Jerbic says the council will consider a revised version of the ordinance that shortens the distance between sleeper and deposits.
Geez, now I'll have to find a room! I've been putting off a vacation in Las Vegas, but now I know that they're taking the "What Happens in Vegas" theme seriously, I will consider going - so to speak ... but only if they shorten the distance between mine and urine.

FOUNTAIN VALLEY, Calif. - Workers at Angiano's gourmet chocolate company, Bodega Chocolates, discovered under a vat a 2-inch-tall column of chocolate drippings that they believe bears a striking resemblance to the Virgin Mary.
Oy. It seems like we go through this junk every three months. It's supposed to be the 21st Century, but we continue to be mired in superstition, supernatural nonsense and voodoo. Regular readers will remember that the last one was that ridiculous Easter egg that some crook tried to sell on Ebay. Meanwhile, this one looks like something I could be sleeping next to in Las Vegas.

Now, we'll see how Satan works...

In this photo provided by the Kenosha Police Department, co-workers, police and firefighters try to help Darmin Garcia, an employee of a Kenosha company that supplies chocolate ingredients, out of a 110 degree vat of dark chocolate at Debelis Corp. in Kenosha, Wisconsin, Friday, Aug. 18, 2006. Darmin Garcia, 21, slipped into the bubbling hot chocolate and was stuck for two hours early Friday morning.
Where's your Messiah now, Darmin? I guess his biggest mistake was not dripping the chocolate on himself, rather than choosing to drop himself in. By the way, what's all the junk in the vat?

Finally, a little shot at my least-favorite entertainment phemomenon by one of my least favorite entertainers...
Justin Timberlake offered a Cowell-esque critique of reigning American Idol champ Taylor Hicks in a new interview, noting the gray-haired crooner "can't carry a tune in a bucket."
"If he has any skeletons whatsoever, if God forbid, he's gay, and all these people in Mississippi who voted for him are like, 'Oh, my God, I voted for a queer!'" -- Timberlake, the native Tennessean, expressing compassion toward the under-pressure "guy who won," as well as a certain distrust of the Idol audience.
Well ... There's the pot calling the kettle gay.


Pam said...

That chocolate thing looks more like a bird than mary.

What happened to that guy? Did he suffer severe burns? And what IS all that crap in the chocolate? Man, don't ruin chocolate for me!

Anthony said...

The chocolate was 110 degrees (43 degrees C), hotter than a hot tub, said Capt. Greg Sinnen of the Kenosha Fire Department. Co-workers, police and firefighters tried to free the man but couldn't get him loose until the chocolate was thinned out with cocoa butter. "It was pretty thick. It was virtually like quicksand," said police Capt. Randy Berner. Garcia was treated for minor injuries at a nearby medical centre and released.

Kate Michele said...

I'm with Pam ... Before reading I thought that was a statue of an eagle..

Justin has no room to speak....

Carmen said...

Whew! I'm glad I'm not going to be breaking at least one law in Las Vegas. For the others, well, I can't say. :)

Anthony said...

I'm glad to hear that! ;)

I trust you'll use your best judgment to pick and choose the best laws to break, although in Vegas, there aren't too many things you can't do.