Tuesday, August 8, 2006

My Dominoes Just Fell Down

While waiting for another call from my pal “Unknown”, I play a lot of Yahtzee on my cell phone, which doesn’t make it as much a cell phone as it does a $50 a month Yahtzee game. Nevertheless, when I get a moderately high score, the little man inside the screen tells me PLAYED LIKE A PRO! SUPER SCORE!, with the accompanying exclamation points. That’s ridiculous (I think quietly to myself) there aren’t any professional Yahtzee leagues … or are there? [rubbing chin ponderingly]…
But, as is often the case, whenever I think that something is ridiculous, all I have to do is flip on the TV and along comes something that makes my initial thought appear ridiculous by comparison. ESPN (the big “E” stands for Entertainment) has been showing The World Series of Darts and The World Series of Dominoes, while VH1 runs The World Series of Pop Culture on a continuing basis, which leads me to believe that Americans are so starved for entertainment that they will watch dominoes. As this fictional exchange points out:
Lewis Rothschild: People want leadership, Mr. President, and in the absence of genuine leadership, they'll listen to anyone who steps up to the microphone. They want leadership. They're so thirsty for it they'll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there's no water, they'll drink the sand.
President Andrew Shepherd: Lewis, we've had presidents who were beloved, who couldn't find a coherent sentence with two hands and a flashlight. People don't drink the sand because they're thirsty. They drink the sand because they don't know the difference.
[dramatic thunder clap]
So, are they watching dominoes on TV because they don't know the difference? Or is it because, as George Costanza once pointed out, they watch "Because it's on TV"? Maybe it's that World Series tag? If it was the South Dakota Domino Challenge, how many people would watch? People from South Dakota probably wouldn't even bother, but maybe I give them too much credit. After all, what else happens in South Dakota? Don't tell me.
On Saturday, we were treated to a broadcast of the Johnsonville World Bratwurst Eating Championships, (also on ESPN - and a word short of a World Series) where 160-pound Takeru Kobayashi ate 58 Brats in ten minutes (which is more than I have eaten in my life) for $8,000 - or fifty cents a calorie. He is described as a competitive eater, which implies that it is how he earns his living - or at least some pocket money. I wonder how much sand he could drink?
Now, that's entertainment.
Big E.


Carmen said...

I saw that the other night, while flipping through channels. How does one get to be a professional dart player? Sign me up for that job!

Anthony said...

I think all it takes is good eyesight and a willingness to learn how to keep score.

Oh ... and remember - pointy end out.

Kate Michele said...

This is too funny!! I don't even know how to "Play" dominos. Until I was like oh I don't say, 14, I didn't even know you could play them.... For I always thought they were for building cool tracks with and then tapping them down!!

I'm a girl.... What can I say?

Anthony said...

Well, Kate, we already know you're not watching enough TV. Actually, I think the 'knocking them down' would be more entertaining than watching them actually play.

Kate Michele said...

Ok but now I'm curious...How DO you play??

kimmyk said...

I never learned how to play Dominos. We always played UNO growing up or Slap Jack. Not this Texas Hold 'Em stuff. I played a mean game of pick up sticks. Let me see them turn that into a championship thingy on ESPN and I'll be all over that.

What ever happened to bowling on the wide world of sports?

Amy said...

i just had to say that American President is one of my FAVORITE movies!

Anthony said...

I saw that in your profile. I liked it, too. I think the dramatic thunder clap comes in there.

It's a Rob Reiner trick that he pulls in "A Few Good Men", during the courtroom scenes.