Saturday, October 20, 2018

Road Worrier (Part One)

Twice in the last month, I have traveled for work.  Lately, it’s the only sort of traveling I do. Fortunately, it is mostly paid for by my company - airfare, hotel, rental car, parking, meals, etc.; as long as it’s on what would normally be my time.  The only things I feel like I should pay for (and do) are extra meals or snacks and alcoholic beverages.  It’s the least I can do.

My experiences with flying are limited, but improving. I have learned the subtle art of self-check-in, and uploading boarding passes to my cell phone - all of which are probably basic to those of you who travel frequently. I have had varied experiences with airports in Philadelphia, Birmingham, Nashville, and Phoenix to get a gist of what it’s like to be in different airports.  Mostly, it’s filled with people who want to get somewhere as quickly as possible, even though often, the effort is worthless.

American Airlines boards flights in groups. I think the priority depends on how often you travel, since originally, I was in Group 9 (the last group) and lately I was in Group 6.  They seem to value the group numbering system as some sort of privilege, but I’m happier to be in Group 9, since I want to spend the least amount of time on the airplane as possible.  Why is it a privilege to board first, and then sit for a half hour on the tarmac? I’d rather be last to board, make that final trip to the rest room, and then get on the plane 10 minutes before it leaves the boarding area.

Almost everyone on the plane takes some sort of carry-on bag with them.  Always, the airline announces that "We are out of overhead space" and they offer free check-in for carry-on bags because of the lack of space. I figure, it’s a scam for passengers who just do it to get their bags checked for free. Schmucks like me pay $25 for our checked bags and carry-on a small bag with my cell phone and personal items.  I’d rather pay the 25 bucks than go through the hassle of finding overhead space or scamming the airline out of the bag fee. That’s just how I am.

I’m not sure about the sense of the "Group" boarding system.  You can be in Group One and be in the back row or the front row. You can be in Group Nine and be in the front row or the back row. It makes more sense to be to board the plane from back to front. That way, the people in Group Eight won’t have to wait 10 minutes while the people in Group Six wait to find overhead space and their seats.  They could get the plane boarded quicker and leave on time, instead of ten minutes later than scheduled.  But then, I don’t run an airline, so what do I know?

My flight to Phoenix from Philadelphia took 5.5 hours. I paid extra for an aisle seat, because I knew I couldn’t sit still for that long without having to use the rest room at least twice - and I’d rather get up for other people than to ask them to get up. That’s who I am.  Watching my fellow passengers, I noticed that, out of about 200 passengers on our 321 Airbus, only 30 or so got up.  "How can anyone sit for more than five hours without having to get up to pee?" I wondered.  The sociologist in me wanted to ask them as they got off, but the rest of me decided to just chalk it up to the oddities of human behavior.

We sit, schrunched-in next to each other for a long time, and often, we don’t say a word to each other. Either they have their head buried in a book (or Kindle) or they are wearing headphones watching episodes of "The Marvelous Mrs. Maizel." I suppose the idea is, "I’m never going to see these people again, so why bother?"  It’s the same as being in an elevator. Look around, but don’t break the ice.

There are two types of people: Open-window sight-seers and closed-window privacy seekers. Being in the middle or aisle seat leaves one at the mercy of them, and the problem with the closed-window group is the THUNK that I feel when the plane lands and I have no idea of our altitude.  For me, it’s interesting to see our world from thousands of feet in the air, and I’ll never forget the look of Las Vegas at night, coming into McCarran Airport, and seeing "The Jewel of the Desert" in all its glory.  How often does that happen in ones life and why wouldn’t you want to see it?

And then, there is the inevitable rush to get to baggage claim. It’s the classic "hurry up and wait" scenario. I had time to saunter along the walkway, stop to use the rest room, and then had 10 minutes to kill before the carousel started moving. I wonder if so many of them have never traveled before, or if they’re just goofy?  My airport experiences are limited, and even I know that unloading baggage, transporting it, and getting it on the carousel is laborious. What’s their hurry?  Again, I chalk it up to the vagaries of human behavior and how important it is for some people to be first in line, regardless of whether or not they are the first to leave.

They are in that Group One deal, I’d guess.

NEXT: Travel Prep and my levels of anxiety.


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