Monday, September 18, 2017

The Curse of Hope

As I said in a previous post, I recently returned from 11 days in Alabama.  Now that I have had significant time to reflect on that experience, allow me to share some of my thoughts on the trip and the indelible impression it has left on me.

ONE:
The more desperate we are, the more we tend to lean on hope. When sentences start with "I hope ..." rational thought takes a back seat to chance and irrational ideals. It's a suckers game, and rarely does hope work for the betterment of those who hope.  Hope goes hand in hand with faith.  It relies too heavily upon someone or something else, and that has no place in the needs and desires that we all have.  If you have hope and faith, you will almost certainly be disappointed.  As it turned out, I cannot depend on hope, because hope relies on someone or something else.  I read that somewhere.  I will leave that between me and the one on whom my hope rested.

TWO:
Would this be the eventual home in my retirement years? While it's true that the cost of living is lower there than anywhere - OK, second lowest - ANYWHERE - I began to find fault with my goals as they related to money.
Is it worth the lower expense to live in a place where the only major shopping outlet is Walmart, and the only entertainment is your television?  Perhaps not.
And, as a subtext to you Walmart haters out there:  Realize that, here in the northeast, Walmart is just one of many outlets for groceries and essentials.  In the Deep South, it is the only place.  They are not displacing "mom and pop," they ARE mom and pop.  I would suggest that the protesters take a trip now and then to see how the other three-quarters lives.  We are truly spoiled.
I could live in Tuscaloosa, Athens, or Huntsville; given their metropolitan style and the mere idea that there is something to do that doesn't involve driving an hour to another town.  That said, I'd still be an hour away from another place, which is certainly not the case here in southern New Jersey.

You have no idea of the expanse.  If you ever start to complain about how crowded America is, and how you'd like to do away with the constant expansion and population explosion - spend 11 days driving around Alabama.  You'll wonder, "Where are the people?"  Make sure you have reliable transportation and a full tank of gas, because you might not have cell service, know where you are, or where the next gasoline station is.
Roads go on for miles, undulating, with trees on either side, and the occasional dwelling.  Even the interstate highways are vast wastelands.  The exit cloverleafs have maybe one filling station, and if you're lucky, you'll find a Huddle House or a Love's truck stop somewhere between the three-hour drive from Birmingham to Tupelo, Mississippi.
The off-ramps are regularly populated with tractor-trailers parked on the shoulder because they have nowhere else to sleep.  Just sitting there - nobody in the driver's seat - sleeping in the cab.

I should also mention (for my fellow alcoholics) that in the parts of Alabama that I visited, alcohol sales are prohibited on Sunday, and furthermore, I did not see one - ONE - bar other than a chain like Applebee's, Ruby Tuesday, or Buffalo Wild Wings in my entire 1,400 miles of driving around the northwest part of the state.  Here in New Jersey, you can't go ten minutes without passing a bar and/or a liquor store.  In retrospect, it might be good for my internal organs, but I digress.

THREE:
I may be biased in my opinion of the people.  The only people I met were service people - wait staff, bartenders, and hotel employees whose job it is to say "yes, sir" to whatever stupid thing I bring up.  Perhaps, if I lived there, I would encounter as many jackasses as I encounter on a daily basis here in New Jersey?  That is a question that I could only answer later.
I travel (and spend significant time) alone, so the attitude I get from people differs from what I would get if I lived in a place or had a companion.  I'm still not sure if outsiders think I'm a shill for corporate or just a poor schmuck traveling alone.  Either way, I win.  I leave big tips because I feel responsible for having them wait on me.  It's a curse.

FOUR:
Central Time.  That's nice.  Big-time athletic events start at 7:30pm.  Late-night TV starts at 10:30pm,  and while I realize that's a specious argument for living somewhere, it's a big deal if you like that stuff and have a problem staying up until after midnight.  Of course, one could make the same argument for Mountain time, but who wants to live in Nebraska?  People in Nebraska probably say the same thing about living in Alabama, so ...
Is it worth uprooting to save an hour?  Probably not, but it's nice not to have to fake "set the alarm" for an hour later and not feel guilty about it.  I maintained Eastern Time for the duration, and felt like I was in some sort of clock heaven.  Still, it was hot as Hell.

FIVE:
The fucking heat.  The temperature was 80, and the "real feel" was 104.  What the fuck? I didn't get to experience a tornado, but they have them regularly. There are signs for shelters along the highways everywhere.  Perhaps I could adapt, but I couldn't say for sure.  I'd have an easier time adapting to the no alcohol sales on Sunday thing than the constant heat.

CONCLUSION:
In spite of the idea that I thought I was going to spend time with the future Mrs. Me (no story there, as it turns out) in my fishing around for potential retirement locations, I'm putting Alabama on my list, but mostly because it's not cold and the time zone is cool.  Otherwise, be careful where you settle down, because it's a long way to civilization from most of those places, and I'm a city boy at heart, and I need to be able to walk to the drug store, not drive an hour.

It's a deeply red state, and that I cannot change. My so-called liberal viewpoints would go in the hate box, and I'd probably be known as "that Yankee" in short order, if I moved there.  I saw a few Confederate flags, and wondered how the President did not Tweet about that, and instead, chose to occupy his time with some football players making a peaceful demonstration ... but I digress.

I will continue my quest to Escape from New Jersey, and may re-center my priority on the Fells Point area of Baltimore, where it began.
Sometimes, experience is the best teacher.

Love ya, Alabama - but it may be just a great place to visit.  Unless she comes calling - but I suspect that is a pipe dream, and I don't own a pipe.


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