So, here it is Sunday night, two days before election day. Here in New Jersey, we have several big contests to decide. We will be electing a county clerk, surrogate and a sheriff. Not a sheriff like Andy Taylor or Buford T. Justice. A sheriff like one who rides around in a county vehicle handing out summons' and ... I don't know ... locking up stray dogs or something. I really don't know what a sheriff does, besides collect a big New Jersey State Pension when he retires, or isn't elected to whatever his term is. Clueless.
Oh, and yes, there's that presidential election. Among the candidates are a Socialism and Liberation party candidate, one from the American Third Position (I thought there were more positions than three) a Constitution Party candidate, and a few others who stand to clog up the ballot to the point that their family and friends will vote for them and you will not see their vote totals posted in your local newspaper.
It says here that, on Wednesday (you will not know the winner when you go to bed on Tuesday night) the guy who wins the popular vote will lose to the guy who wins the Electoral College vote. You couldn't find 30 people in a crowd at the Deptford Mall who know what the Electoral College means, yet that will decide our president for the next 4 years. Strange, isn't it? More on that later.
Today at the Shop Rite:
Man behind me in line: What do you want?
Woman with him: I'm going back for cake.
Woman with him: I'm going back for cake.
Man behind me in line: OK, but don't complain when they call you 'an old fat-ass!'
Me: But it tastes so good!
There are two ballot questions on our ballot for Tuesday. They always include an "Interpretive Statement" after the question. That's because the question is worded in such a way that the average American (translated: Deptford Mall shopper) can't understand the question, so they have to interpret it for us - like we're watching "Honey Boo Boo." Meanwhile, nobody seems to mind that questions on our ballot have to be interpreted. Moreover, nobody seems to mind that, after reading the interpretive statement, we still don't know what we're voting on.
So, go ahead and vote. It's important. Mostly for your local elections and less so for the national one. Most of the things you care about happen at the local level - school board, Township Committee, State Senate - all that junk that doesn't garner national headlines. Here in New Jersey, the Electoral vote will probably go to Obama, so if you vote for Romney, feel good about making a choice but in the end, our forefathers have rendered your vote a formality. That's our system, and whether you like it or not, that's the way it works.
Maybe you can find the sheriff and get him to fix it?
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