Tiger Schmiger.

Golf is one of those things. Sometimes, it's a little too sophisticated for its own good. The tournament the men are playing this week used to be called The British Open. Now, it's called The Open, as though that makes it sound sophisticated. Players gripe about clicking cameras (why a digital camera has to 'click' is beyond me) and spectators making noise. The men's game is only a little more haughty than the women's game. They make more money and - well - they're men, so it stands to reason that they'd have tighter sphincters than the girls.

Today at The Open, Tiger Woods missed the cut. That means that his score after two rounds wasn't low enough to allow him to play on Saturday. MC they call it. When athletes in other sports miss the playoffs, they book rounds of golf for their off-time. What do golfers do? Book a batting cage? For Tiger, I'm assuming he goes home and pouts. He seems like the type. The type who just can't believe he lost, and he'll kick himself for a couple of weeks until he gets another chance to show the world how good he is.

He's a bit of a brat, I think. I respect his ability, but I don't like him that much. When he doesn't play well he flips clubs, pouts and complains about camera noise and spectators. Otherwise, he's a happy guy, because he's better than them. I think we all know people like that. The guy who is so good at something that he breezes through it nonchalantly, but when he struggles we all know about it because he starts griping and throwing stuff.

The bigger issue is what TV is going to do this weekend. They probably booked ads based on the fact that their meal ticket (spelled T-i-g-e-r) would be competing for the title. Now that he's on a British Air flight back to Florida, the TV ratings aren't looking very good. I can't imagine millions of viewers tuning in to see Ross Fisher and Steve Marino. Tom Watson is still playing, but you are well outside the 18 to 39 demographic if you remember anything about Tom Watson, or that it used to be called The British Open. That's death for television. We're too old for them to care about or pander to. The gang at ABC Sports is staining their pants over it. Suddenly, viewers will discover that the outside world is looking pretty good out their window.

Who knows, they might even be out playing golf.