Tuesday, March 25, 2008

It's now a half-vast ice shelf, but don't let that scare you.

A vast ice shelf hanging on by a thin strip looks to be the next chunk to break off from the Antarctic Peninsula, the latest sign of global warming's impact on Earth's southernmost continent. Scientists are shocked by the rapid change of events.
The Wilkins Ice Shelf was stable for most of the last century until it began retreating in the 1990s. A previous major breakout occurred there in 1998 when 390 square miles (1,000 square kilometers) of ice was lost in just a few months."We believe the Wilkins has been in place for at least a few hundred years, but warm air and exposure to ocean waves are causing it to break up," Scambos said.
A new study of glaciers in a portion of the Antarctic finds 84 percent of them have retreated over the past 50 years in response to a warmer climate.
The work was based on 2,000 aerial photos, some taken in the 1940s, and satellite images. The climate in the region has warmed by more than 4.5 degrees Fahrenheit (2.5 Celsius) in the last 50 years, the scientists said
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Lousy stinking scientists. Using junk like satellite images and measurements to try to tell us that the ice caps are melting. Big chunks of stuff break off all the time. I guess that Wilkins guy is pissed. That'll teach him to name an ice shelf after himself. How long did he think that would last? He probably isn't even dead yet. Sucker.

RENO, Nevada - A new study predicts water circulation in Lake Tahoe is being dramatically altered by global warming, threatening the lake's delicate ecosystem and famed clear waters.
The new study showed that, if global greenhouse-gas emissions continue at current levels, mixing could become less frequent and less deep, and possibly stop as early as 2019.
"While we expected that the lake would mix less in the future, learning that we may be only a decade or two from the complete shutdown of deep mixing was very surprising." Schladow said.
"If mixing shuts down, then no new oxygen gets to the bottom of the lake, and creatures that need it, such as lake trout, will have a large part of their range excluded," Schladow said.
When the oxygen is gone, the study said phosphorus contained in lake-floor sediments would be released and spur algae growth, further damaging the lake's clarity and water quality.
In a related study, the scientists determined that global greenhouse-gas emissions will cause a drastic hike in the hourly rates of prostitutes in Reno, prompting the National Governors Association to take swift and immediate action, demanding a 25% reduction in greenhouse-gas emissions by 2010.
Don't mess with the prostitutes.

7 comments:

kimmyk said...

screws fall out all the time...the world is an imperfect place....

guess the same can be said for glacier ice caps.

yeah, dont piss off some hooker ass bitches...they will cut you..and then take all your money.

Anthony said...

Thanks Bender. How'd I leave out my favorite quote? I'm slipping ... like the ice caps.
hahahahahahahaha. I crack me up. Like the ice cap. hahahahahaha.
Oh, I'm killing myself.

"The door is way too heavy, sir."

Sparky Duck said...

Yes, but think how icy cold the vodka will be

kimmyk said...

if you hush and listen real close-you can hear al gore's head getting bigger.

he told ya so.

Anthony said...

Yeah, he did. Some of us voted for him before he became a multi-media icon.

He's a good man.

Firestarter5 said...

The right-wing knuckle draggers think you're a tree hugger and a terrorist sympathizer....what that has to do with the ice shelf breaking off I can't explain.

I was amazed at the perfectly straight edges of the break.

James said...

Our planet should be put in the Intensive Care Unit but I fear that we've put this off far too long and that there is no going back now.

So I'm just going to break out the lawn chair, slap the sunscreen and glasses on and drink a beer as the world burns around us and wars explode like a wheel of Black Cat firecrackers.