Stinko de Mayo

News Item:

On Thursday, the Kansas House voted 119-0 to approve a bill that would prohibit anyone under the age of 15 from marrying in Kansas, and would set strict limits for would-be brides or grooms under the age of 18. The Senate approved it a day earlier by a vote of 36-4.

Four? Who would vote against this thing? People of Kansas: Find those four Senators and have them severly beaten.

News Item:

WASHINGTON: Angry conservatives are driving the approval ratings of President Bush and the GOP-led Congress to dismal new lows, according to an AP-Ipsos poll that underscores why Republicans fear an Election Day massacre.

Finally, the party is seeing the backlash from their association with people like Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly. While it is doubtful that supporters have seen the error of their ways (since they are steadfast in their beliefs) it is nevertheless nice to see that maybe now the party will have to take steps to distance themselves from those so-called pundits. Or not.

NOW HERE'S THE SPIN FROM THE ANGRY CONSERVATIVES:

President Bush's job approval rating inches up to 38 percent this week, a slight increase from last month, according to the latest FOX News Poll. A 53 percent majority of Americans disapproves of the president’s job performance. Even fewer Americans approve of the job Democrats and Republicans in Congress are doing, and over half say they are either extremely or very interested in the upcoming midterm election.

So, I guess there isn't anything that the jerks at Fox cannot spin to make their boy look as good as possible. I think we should petition the FCC to make Fox News take the "News" out of the name.

News Item:

INCHEON, SOUTH KOREA - Michelle Wie made her first cut in a professional men's tournament Friday after shooting a 3-under-par 69 in the Asian Tour's SK Telecom Open.

Maybe one of the lesser lights on the men's tour should try to qualify for an LPGA event? It will never happen, because:

1 - If he didn't make the cut, he would never live it down.

2 - If he didn't win the tournament he would have been beaten by a bunch of women.

3 - If he did win, it wouldn't accomplish anything because all he would have done is beat a bunch of women.

I love the LPGA. I like Michelle, and I love watching women play golf. There's something noble about it. I wish they were secure in their standing as women, and not so desirous of playing with men. They're special on their own, but attempting to play with men lessens the dignity of the LPGA - and there is a lot of dignity there. If someone at the LPGA had the guts, they would ban the women from playing with the men. But, that will never happen either.

Finally, today is Cinco de Mayo, which prompted this anecdote from KVII - Your 24/7 source for everything in the panhandle. The Texas Panhandle, I assume, although there are others. They tell us: Friday is Cinco de Mayo, a celebration to be enjoyed by all Americans.

What? Why would Americans enjoy a celebration for a battle won by the Mexicans, beating the crap out of France after their Civil War? Oh ... I forgot - there's drinking involved. It's the same reason Americans are supposed to enjoy St. Patrick's Day. If there wasn't drinking involved, who gives a fat rat's ass about the Mexicans and their Civil War? So, we gather up all the co-workers we can stand and waddle our fat asses to the nearest Irish Pub or some all-American commercial establishment with yard sale junk hanging on the wall, and knock a few down in honor of those brave Mexicans.

Way to Go Mexico! I'll have another Corona, and a Chalupa for my little dog.