Tuesday, April 4, 2006

High School, Schmi School

While I was watching the LPGA tournament last Sunday (yes, I know - geek) one of the announcers mentioned that Michelle Wie was still only 16, and a junior in high school, although it seems as though she has been around the game forever. Meanwhile, she was carrying around schoolwork and struggling with some novel or another.
My first thought was, if I was "Mr. Wie," I'd be writing an excuse note to whatever school (or tutor) she was attending that said something like:

Dear School,
Michelle cannot attend today. She is busy working on her golf game, which will earn her much more than any silly high school diploma. Any worldly knowledge she wishes to absorb will be done while touring the world playing golf. Did I mention that she is a professional golfer?
So, while you may miss her and her witty remarks, I assure you that the world is better off having her persue her professional golfing career than it is having her persue her high school diploma. Here's a wake-up call for you - she made $108,000 last week - and she didn't even win.
See you in the Sports section.
Sincerely,
Mr. Wie

While it may sound crass or heartless - hey, it's My Sick Mind, right - if my career path was mapped out so clearly at the age of 16 as is hers, I wouldn't have wasted five seconds in high school - tutor or no tutor, and I sure as Hell wouldn't struggle with a novel that I didn't care to read to begin with.

Remember the words of Lone Starr, who told Barf: "We're not just doing this for money... We're doing it for a shitload of money!"

1 comment:

Meg said...

I love Spaceballs.