My Sick Mind

Every six months, rain or shine, I'm in the dentist's chair having my teeth cleaned. Preventive dentistry, they call it. I have my own ideas. While it may seem nice to have an attractive woman put her fingers in my mouth, the drama is lost on me when she breaks out the space suit. A face shield, that paper mouth guard and rubber gloves. It makes me wonder what what it says about me in my file. I had two X-rays on Wednesday. It is considerate of them to give me that lead body apron to wear, but I can't help but wonder about the logic of covering my chest and arms while my entire head is being blasted. Shouldn't they cover my head too? My brain is in there - I think. That might be more important than covering my shoulders, but I'm not a dentist, so I don't know. I didn't check, but I'm pretty sure that apron didn't cover my junk, either. Is that why is my urine is blue? There's an idea for some enterprising entrepreneur with time and materials. T...

My teeth are clean. I just thought you might like to know. I had my six-month dental check-up (the official check-up-from-the-neck-up) and I was pronounced "Good for another six months." So, those of you who may be planning on doing something with me after June 13th ... I really can't commit to anything right now. That really screws with the trip to Wakarusa I was planning this summer. One day at a time, I guess. I made another appointment for June 27th, so I guess the joke is on them! While I was in the dental chair, they allowed me to watch the TV. There was a minor earthquake just outside of Reading, PA; in Berks County. The local Action News reporter was there, on the scene. He chose to interview a guy who was in the area at the time. REPORTER: So, you were here at the time of the earthqake? GUY: Yes, I was working here from noon till now, today. REPORTER: Did you feel the earthquake? GUY: Nope. I didn't see or feel anything. Breaking news, folks. ...