My Sick Mind

I was in my local drug store tonight, picking up supplies for a long bike ride tomorrow. Among them, sunscreen and PowerBar chewy things. The PowerBar bag had a 50-cents off coupon stuck to it, so dutifully, I peeled it off. When I peeled it off, I noticed that it said, "Valid only if removed by cashier." Why, I wondered quietly to myself. When I got up to the buxom young cashier I commented on how I have apparently done some of her job. "Sorry, I peeled this off," I said, even though it didn't seem to be a situation that begged for an apology. "I didn't notice it until I peeled it off." "Well," she replied, "There is one cashier here who wouldn't give you the fifty cents." Apparently, it wasn't her, since I got my huge discount. "Really? It's fifty cents," I replied. "It's not like it's five dollars or anything." And then I noticed that on the bag, the residue of the removed coupon...

That's a picture of a typical mid-summer evening around here. Midway between Wilmington and Philadelphia. I don't know how it works, but it does. The late-afternoon/early evening thunderstorm. A hundred miles either way and it doesn't matter, but here in the Land of Me, it's a semi-regular occurrence. It keeps me indoors and (lucky you) in front of the blog screen so I can torment you with more of my nonsense. Times of clouds and sun. That's my favorite forecast that we get. They could tell us that every day and be right. I picture the forecaster having to use the toilet when the call comes in for the daily forecast. Just like the DJ who puts "Stairway to Heaven" on, out they run with the "times of clouds and sun." That covers him until he wipes up and gets back to work. Meanwhile, we're left wondering what to wear. I must be way out of touch. I don't know who this Jamie Lynn Spears is or who Miley Cyrus is. I did hear someone pining ...

I use a lot of sunscreen . If I'm outside for more than 20 minutes without it, I end up looking like a 50/50 bar . Burned calves, burned neck or burned head if I forget to wear my hat. It's a social problem, since sunscreen is either greasy or spray-on lacquer that isn't very becoming in public. Lucky for me I don't spend a lot of time outside in situations where I'm wearing regular clothes. In those cases, I'm the first one to find the shade tree. I have adopted the nickname Caucasian Man , given my fine white complexion and continual war with the sun. Caucasian Man has few superpowers. Forgetfulness and anxiety if I go outside without my sunscreen are two of them. Not exactly the stuff of comic books, but I'm more the blog type. Sunscreen is one of the last high-end personal use products that we buy. I just bought a 5 ounce can of CVS brand Cooling mist SPF 45 that cost me eight bucks. They can charge eight bucks because they know that we know we need th...