My Sick Mind

WASHINGTON - It will cost a bit more to mail letters and parcels starting Monday. A first-class letter will go up 2 cents to 41 cents. But there is also some good news - folks will be able to buy "forever" stamps that remain valid regardless of any future increase . So, that's the "good news"? I'm a little confused (a lot confused) about these "Forever stamps". Who buys a stamp and holds onto it forever? They are marketing these things like we're buying them and saving them for something. Who buys stamps and doesn't use them quickly? Sure - let me run out and buy up a truckload of these stamps so I can save 2 cents in three years when the rates go up. Do they think we're that stupid? My take on this "Forever" stamp is that the Post Office is admitting that by the time the next rate increase is enacted, the Postal Service will be the stuff of history. Anybody remember the Pony Express? Five years from now, when rates go up...

I like to try to tie things in together when I write these posts. Sometimes it isn't very easy, and sometimes, like yesterday, the overwhelming sadness of life's circumstances leaves me a little drained. When I found that story about the Rent-a-pet disaster that they are calling Flexpetz, I wondered how we could treat animals as though they were commodities. To tie that into something would take two days, but here it is: Japan has drop box for unwanted babies TOKYO - A Japanese hospital opened the country's only anonymous drop box for unwanted infants Thursday despite government admonitions against abandoning babies. The baby drop-off, called "Crane's Cradle," was opened by the Catholic-run Jikei Hospital in the southern city of Kumamoto as a way to discourage abortions and the abandonment of infants in unsafe public places. The hospital described it as a parent's last resort. So, there ya go - tie-in complete. While at first it seemed as though we (the h...

CHARLOTTE, N.C. - Former televangelist Tammy Faye Messner said doctors have stopped treating her cancer and that her weight has dropped to 65 pounds. In a letter poste d Tuesday on her Web site , Messner thanked her "faithful friends" for sending her flowers, cards and gifts as she battles cancer for a third time. The 65-year-old Charlotte resident was first diagnosed with colon cancer in 1996, and she announced in 2004 that the disease had spread to her lungs. "The doctors have stopped trying to treat the cancer and so now it's up to God and my faith. And that's enough!" she wrote. I suppose it will have to be enough, Tammy. Meanwhile, those who figure that God will provide may be either dumbfounded or extraordinarily philosophical over the events that have transpired over one of "God's Children". It's hard to figure sometimes, this whole God and Heaven deal. Regardless of what you may think of Tammy and her opinions of the herea...

OK, so now he's the kid who the other kids make fun of. Now, they don't even do it behind his back anymore, because they know that he knows he's a dimwit - so why bother sneaking around? WASHINGTON - The queen had the last laugh. Dispensing with protocol briefly at the formal dinner she hosted for President Bush, Queen Elizabeth said, "I wonder whether I should start this toast by saying, 'When I was here in 1776.' " At one point in Monday's South Lawn ceremony, Bush noted that the queen had dined with 10 U.S. presidents and had helped the United States "celebrate its bicentennial in 17 ... ." Bush caught himself and corrected the date to 1976 . This brought loud laughter from many in the invited audience of thousands. A chagrined Bush deadpanned that the queen just "gave me a look that only a mother could give a child." Well, he got the parent/child part right. 'Loud laughter' from a bunch of invited guests who are proba...

My new favorite song. "I was a baby when I learned to suck, but you have raised it to an art form." Wind it Up Barenaked Ladies

Sometimes, I have to create my own entertainment. Lately, it has been seeing all the Google searches over "Alicia Lane". SIDE NOTE: Spelling is a hot-button issue with me. Then, the other day, I mentioned how I spent two days listening to people call him Floyd Merryweather - and up pops two Google searches that led stalkers here. I wonder if they did another search, or were they actually looking for Floyd Merryweather ? Maybe his old high school teacher or a former lover? Whatever - entertaining myself is cheaper than psychotherapy and less addictive than crack. Well ... slightly less addictive. Then, there is this: This is a billboard that is causing quite the uproar in Chicago. A local attorney is advertising divorce, or so they think. The anger comes over the idea that we are so gullible as consumers that we will consider divorce merely because the Billboard says so . That isn't giving us a lot of credit either as people or consumers. "Life is short, so ditch tha...

Just when you think you have seen every crazy, harebrained scheme – along comes this nonsense. First, the article, then my sanctimonious rant. You tell me if I am totally off base with this, or if you feel similarly: THE ARTICLE: The lure of an energetic playmate and warm companionship has brought me to the door of my neighborhood animal shelter, but I was always stopped by thoughts of the poor pup being penned up all day while I'm at work. San Diego and Los Angeles-based Flexpetz lets you borrow a dog of your choice for a few hours, a day or even a week. All their dogs come from accredited rescue organizations and range from an Italian greyhound named Pike to Tango, a stunning black Afghan. Owner Marlena Cervantes says many of their San Diego clients are military personnel who don't want to kennel their dogs while out at sea. A number of celebrities also showed interest at a pre-Oscar event this year. "We had a lot of interest from actors who have to be on-location a lo...

OK, here we go. Since nobody watches ABC News, I figure you haven't seen this . There's an ad first, and the video is only a couple of minutes. It's either a clever May Sweeps angle or a real danger. Either way, it may bear watching - especially for my female readers.

"The instrument has not been invented that can measure my indifference to that remark." Benjamin F. 'Hawkeye' Pierce, M*A*S*H Two major sporting events took place over the weekend, and I honestly couldn't care less about either one. Two mesomorph's beating each other up and a horse owned by wealthy people running in a circle for our entertainment. My only happiness comes in the fact that apparently neither the horse nor its jockey were seriously injured. I cannot go through that again. I do not wager, nor do I pay $54 to watch sports on television, so I missed out on the glory here. If I want to see two people beat each other senseless, I can watch Hannity and Colmes . They're senseless to begin with, so it's just the beating that has appeal. Besides, I spent two days listening to people call him Merryweather , and another two days listening to people tell me whom was going to win the Kentucky Derby. Do we say 'whom' if it's a horse? In t...

What? Have I lost my mind? Yes. The View . Boy, do I wish I was at home during the day so that four old squares could help me shape my opinion on the events taking place in the world. Now that the old lesbian is leaving, whom will they get to replace her? I can only imagine. I hope it will be someone who presumptuously spells a common name oddly, like Elisabeth, or another old-head news anchor or another failed stand-up. Oh wait, they already have one of those. If I felt as though I had to watch this show every day, I would either (a) take up mid-day drinking or (b) find a part-time job pumping gas or mowing lawns. Meanwhile, those tornadoes that ran through Greensburg , Kansas serve to remind me how we should appreciate the fact that we merely reside here, and that events much larger than us have complete control over whether or not we are allowed to stay. People in my part of the world build homes 50 feet from a raging ocean, then complain when a storm washes part of their front po...