My Sick Mind

OK, here's the new rule we're going to institute, going forward (as they say) with regard to celebrities and who we actually call celebrities. It's simple: If you have to put your credits in front of your name, you are not a celebrity. You don't have to say Actor Robert DeNiro or Singer Elton John, because we know who those people are and what they do for a living. That's why they're celebrities. The 12th season of Dancing With the Stars (egad, 12 years!) is starting in a couple of weeks, and the couples have been announced. Quickly - look at that photo on the left and tell me which one is the "star" and which one is the professional dancer. You can't do it, can you? That's because the star is somebody named Chelsea Kane. If you don't know who Chelsea Kane is, that's because nobody knows who Chelsea Kane is. The shows billing tells her that she is " Disney star Chelsea Kane," presumably so we'll know how to Google ...

I stopped watching Dancing with the Stars a few years ago, when they ran out of stars. I'm still fascinated by the concept, however, and I follow the show in absentia by reading the news stories that circulate after each results show. I notice that Sarah Palin's devil spawn, Bristol is still on the show in spite of being given low scores by the show's judges, to the point of having to defend herself for being there. Rational thinking people say she is a bad dancer, yet she continues on the show, presumably because of the votes she gets from the viewers. She gets tons of them, no doubt from the Tea Baggers that support her mother. Somebody should check to see whom the show's producers supported for president in 2008 and where their money goes. It says here that they are probably big supporters of the Republican party and have figured out a way to use their television show to put their favorite candidate front and center. I smell a conspiracy. Sarah's new book, ...

I continue to be amazed by the amount of media coverage that Dancing with the Stars and American Idol receive. Maybe I’m being too pragmatic, but in a country with 305 million people living in 110 million households where 109 million of them have at least 1 TV, why are we be bombarded with stories about programs that supposedly have 18.5 million and 25 million viewers respectively? To me, it seems that the much larger number of people are off doing something else . Granted, they’re the highest-rated shows on TV, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they have to be foist upon us. I'd like to know what the other 280 million people are doing. That's probably far more interesting. Here’s an interesting fact: 18.5 million people watched the regular Dancing with the Stars episode, but only 17 million watched the “results” show that immediately followed. Am I to believe that 9 percent of their viewers turned the show off before they found out who won? Perhaps I’m a frustrated s...

Too tired to go to the gym, so I decided to sit and relax in front of my friend, the TV. These were my choices tonight: Nancy Grace debating for the one-millionth time, the controversy over the fate of Anna Nicole's baby. Holy crap, Nancy. Open a newspaper and find something else to talk about, will ya? Please. Dancing with the Stars , which, in spite of the dearth of stars, continues with the dancing. Even Cheryl Burke wasn't enough to keep me tuned in. Seemingly, for three hours it went on - some "results show" or something. "Results" of what, I have no idea. Boring. On several channels, the ongoing nonsense over some stupid remarks made by a radio host who long ago was irrelevant, and only now has found a voice, common sense notwithstanding. Anus, I think his name is. Meanwhile, the piling on continues, with bystanders becoming interested parties. Include me out. Jim Cramer screaming about Charter Communications , and telling his viewers that if they bid...

I was an hour late for work today. I set my alarm ahead an hour, too. I thought that’s how it was supposed to work. Otherwise, what’s the point? It's not really an extra hour of daylight, like they tell us it is. It just moves it to a place where we can enjoy it, but why should I lose sleep over it? Another great idea brought to you by the Shrub and his Posse of Pussies. An extra hour of late-afternoon daylight was the best idea that they could come up with to ease our energy problems. Move the clocks, George . I only wish I could have been a fly on the wall during that MENSA-esque brainstorming session. Come to think of it, as a fly, I'd be the smartest one in the room. Then, I was checking the QVC and they were selling this Dragon voice-activated software for your computer. Surf the web, make document files and generally get around on your PC by speaking the commands. Great. Now, not only do we have to put up with the obnoxious cell phone clowns engaging us in their persona...