My Sick Mind

Certain things in life fascinate me. Like the Miss America pageant . Awards shows fascinate me. Either it's something like the Academy Awards or the Emmy Awards, where (basically) what happens is that the people involved vote for themselves and their co-workers, which I lovingly refer to as "Hollywood Pats Itself on the Back." The other night, The Golden Globe Awards were given out, which we are led to believe are voted on by the Hollywood foreign press, whatever that is. The thing that fascinates me about awards is twofold. First, when competitive athletes are given awards, like a Most Valuable Player award, I wonder why it's so important, since they keep score in games and we already know who the winner is. What's the point of giving out an award in an endeavor where there are already declared winners and losers? Why keep score, otherwise? It seems as though the more attention one gets, the more awards are given out for the job. Athletes, actors, performers...

I don't know why we (people) get so worked up over awards shows. The Grammy 's, the Emmy 's and the Academy Awards get a lot of attention while most of us have to get up and go to work tomorrow. Maybe it's because we like to see that a movie or song that we like gets an award for being a movie or song that a lot of people like? We like to think that our tastes reflect what society thinks. Some of us (me) don't give a crap what society thinks, and as a matter of fact, if I like something that society likes I start to wonder why I like it, because the masses of people are clueless. They will give out the Oscars tonight, and the biggest change (other than saying "the Oscar goes to" instead of "the winner is") is that there are now 10 films nominated instead of the customary five. It's the Little League version of award shows, but mostly it is so that the nominated films can reap the profits from being nominated. It's always about money. ...

So they gave out those Academy Awards on Sunday night. I'd be all twisted up, but the only two movies I saw were "The Dark Knight" and "The Visitor" (best actor nominee). From what I hear, I'm one of twelve people who saw "The Visitor." I recommend it, by the way. I can't speak for the other eleven. There's kind of a homophobic thing going on with that "Milk" movie. It's hard to explain, but if you mention it to some people and tell them you liked it, they look at you funnily (queerly, so to speak) and tell you how horrible it was that it was even nominated, so imagine my glee to see Spicoli win the Oscar. I'd be happier if it actually had anything to do with my life. I don't get worked up over awards shows like I used to. Age and maturity have given me a more healthy perspective and generally, their winning or losing doesn't affect my life, so why should I care? I do get a kick out of the self-importance of th...

"He has no genitalia and he's holding a sword." - Dustin Hoffman, 52nd Academy Awards, 1980 Sunday night's Academy Awards telecast went off without a hitch, and other than Tilda Swinton 's Supporting Actress award for her work in "Michael Clayton", there weren't a lot of surprises. Tilda seemed a little surprised herself, and millions of casual movie-goers now know who Tilda Swinton is. Speaking of millions of casual movie-goers, the same thought crosses my mind every year while I'm watching the Oscars. Why do they show us those Short Subject and Foreign Film awards at the beginning of the show? I haven't seen an animated short subject in a movie theater since I was five years old, and in most parts of the country, foreign film is the stuff that gets stuck to your teeth after drinking milk. But we persevere through the awards like Art Direction, Make-up and Animated Short Subject so that we can get to the Tilda Swinton Awards - acting, direc...

The 80th Annual Academy Awards will be given out on Sunday night, and unlike previous years, this year I've actually seen some of the nominated films. Regardless, it doesn't stop me from having an opinion, because I'm an American, and I don't have to see something to know what I think of it. To wit, here are my predictions: Performance by an actor in a leading role George Clooney in "Michael Clayton" Daniel Day-Lewis in "There Will Be Blood" Johnny Depp in "Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" Tommy Lee Jones in "In the Valley of Elah" Viggo Mortensen in "Eastern Promises" If anyone besides Daniel Day-Lewis wins this award, there should be a federal investigation. I haven't seen a performance like his that I can remember, and when one recalls great acting performances, it should be about actors who gave us something memorable. His work is far too deep and emotional to ignore. Performance by an actor in a ...

DARMSTADT, Germany - A European spacecraft was on course to zip past Mars on Sunday, a crucial maneuver in its meandering, 10-year voyage through the solar system to make the first soft landing on a comet. German scientists are taking great care to be sure that the spacecraft doesn't hit Uranus. LOS ANGELES - A classic Hollywood cliffhanger will conclude Sunday's Academy Awards, and organizers hope the suspense of an up-for-grabs best picture race will be enough to keep TV audiences tuned in through the finale. I think TV has lost track of the American worker. I live in the eastern time zone, and my alarm goes off at 5:30am on weekdays. Awards shows and sporting events can keep me up well past midnight, depriving me of much-needed rest. I'm not enough of a nut about it to hang out until 1am while Alec Baldwin reads from a note card. I figure that's what newspapers and the Internet are for. I suppose there's suspense over the best picture race, but since I...