My Sick Mind

That physical specimen on the right is Miss Brazil, Natalia Guimaraes during the swimwear section of the Miss Universe final in Mexico City's Auditorio Nacional May 28, 2007. Guimaraes was the first runner up. First runner-up? I'm assuming that the winner was the judge's daughter or something. Some girl from Japan won, while Miss USA wowed the judges by falling during the evening gown competition. I'm not all that interested in beauty pageants - at least not as much as I am interested in the contestants - but it would be nice to see the local girl make a good showing. Since I am not from Brazil, the local girl would be our Miss USA, who appears to have some difficulty walking and looking pretty at the same time. Rachel Smith (left), Miss USA 2007 gets up after falling during the evening gown competition of the Miss Universe 2007 beauty pageant in Mexico City. Meanwhile, it looks like Tony Romo would like to get him some: IRVING, Texas - Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony...

If I had a tongue like that, I'd never leave the house. As it was, I had trouble leaving today after a Saturday night of bar-hopping in the city. A giant self-guided walking circle of self destruction with 3 bike-riding buddies that began at Monk's for beer and dinner, moved on to Bob and Barbara's for some local jazz and culminated at Doc Watson's for - well - I don't remember. I'm a dangerous drinker when I'm not driving. I think psychologically I figure that as long as I'm being picked up and dumped off without using my car keys, I can test my limits, and they were tested. All arrived home safely, though, and I imagine by now my friends are arranging my intervention . I think I was still legally intoxicated when I woke up at 9 this morning. Good times. I'm not watching either the NHL Hockey playoffs or the NBA basketball playoffs, but I understand something strange happened on Saturday. NBC bailed out of the Ottawa-Buffalo game a 5pm on Saturd...

He hit a guy in the face with a hockey stick and got suspended for 25 games. Then, presumably, it's back to work for a guy who physically assaulted someone in his place of business. Tomorrow, throw a hockey stick in your trunk. When you get to work, find someone you don't like and smash them in the face with it. Use two hands, and lunge. C'mon - you know you want to. Chances are, you'd have problems narrowing it down to only one person. It might be worth the month off, and since you make a million dollars a year like Chris Simon, you won't mind giving up the $80,000 or so that you would earn during the suspension. New York Rangers' Ryan Hollweg lies on the ice after struck with a hockey stick by New York Islanders' Chris Simon (12) as linesman Tim Nowak skates in and referee Craig Spada signals a penalty during the third period of their hockey game, Thursday, March 8, 2007 at Nassau Coliseum in Uniondale, N.Y. Simon was given a match penalty for inte...