My Sick Mind

Stop Global Warming

I buy wine based on the label. There, I said it. I'm a wine idiot ... sue me. The last one I bought had 3 mooses on it. If it has a cool label and it's less than $15, I'm all in. White with fish or red with meat? Who gives a . ... Give me a hopping kangaroo or a lot of colors. I'm a kid in a liquor store. "Look, mommy! Moose!" What a jackass. I bought one of those cat grass things last week. So, now I'm growing cat grass on my window sill. Will the cat eat it? No. What the Hell am I going to do with all this cat grass? Anybody know if I can smoke that junk? Hey ... if the cat ain't gonna eat it... Those Volkswagen commercials with the guy from Fargo doing the German accent really irritate me. Who thinks that a thick German accent is going to sell cars in America? When I hear it, all I can think of are Nazis and concentration camps. But, I drive a Ford, so what do I know? There was an ad in the newspaper for the Philadelphia Auto Show, and there a...

"Good things don't end in 'eum,' they end in 'mania' or 'teria’ ." - Homer Simpson They also end in "Bowl" - as in Super or ... Wing. Thank whatever God you pray to that some heathen invented the CD player. Why? I’m glad you asked. Today, WIP and my favorite morning radio show is hosting something they call the Wing Bowl , (the 15th one, really ) an eating contest where 20 endomorphs sit on a big stage and try to throw down as many chicken wings as they can in an hour. In today’s Inquirer , columnist Frank Fitzpatrick called it a “rodeo for the repulsive” and a “bacchanal for bozos”. Good ones, Frank. Somehow, it became a radio show, and every year for the last 15, the Friday before the Super Bowl is Wing Bowl day in Philadelphia. The station’s ads call it a “Sporting Event”. Uh-huh. If eating is a sport, then sex should be in the Olympics. That, at least, is something I’d watch. I’m not a big fan of eating contests to begin with. I l...

Outside, the wind sounds like Superman taking off in the old TV show . Whistling and howling. 25 miles per hour, with gusts to 40. At least I'm not in Texas . I spent some time on the Internet , over at Ticketbastard , and picked up a ticket to see Blue Man Group , coming to the Taj Mahal (no, not that one) in Atlantic City in March . More fun awaits. Then, speaking of fun, I switched on the TV , and there's C-Span , my favorite reality show channel. There was a live feed from Wichita, Kansas and former Miss America 2001 Angela Perez Baraquio of Hawaii was introducing Sam Brownback , as he formally declared his run for the 2008 presidency . I'm not sure what Miss Hawaii has to do with a Senator from Kansas . Maybe Tara Dawn Holland is either a Democrat or too smart to get involved, but I'm not sure why he's running to begin with, so I'm at a loss. I decided to watch Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe . If I'm gonna feel dirty watching something on TV, it may...

If you haven't done it already, do it soon. If you thought that maybe it was some sort of oddity or perhaps it was a flash in the pan or that it wasn't up to the hype, you were wrong. If you figured that the ticket prices were too high, or that perhaps there could not be enough entertainment to justify the cost, you figured wrong. The fact is, they don't charge enough. It's funny, smart and as full an evening of entertainment as you will ever experience. Trust me on this. They're on tour , and perhaps they are coming to a city near you (or directly at you). It is impossible for me to express in words what the show is about, or how much enjoyment you will derive from it. Just go. It's more than just banging on tubes. That's only some of it, and it isn't necessarily the best part. Go to the show. Either go to Las Vegas and see them at the Venetian , or catch them when they ramble through town. After you see the show, you'll put up a post on your blog...