Tuesday, August 9, 2011

A new scourge

There is a new infestation. A race of mutants that must be stopped. At first glance, they appear to have tremendous power. In reality, they are weak and easily defeated. Their weakness is exposed as they roam our streets.

They are not born, they are made. Because they have been created, they can be destroyed. It will take many years and perhaps we will have to endure loss of lives, but the loss will be worth the gain to society.

I'm talking about the Walk and Text crowd. Hoards of people roaming around with their heads down, texting on their so-called Smartphones. Their self-indulgence leads them into awkward situations with the humans walking toward them. Those who are walking with their heads up can see the approaching WAT (Walk and Texter) and dutifully avoid them as the WAT's gaze continues downward. Sometimes they do not know that they have come within inches of a collision, as they never alter their downward gaze.

Our duty as upright walkers is not to avoid them, but to continue on our path and run into them. There may be dislocated thumbs, bumped shoulders or other minor injuries, but the resulting lesson learned by the WAT will be worth our effort. One by one, stories of WATs being walked into will spread amongst their legions and either they will learn to stop walking while they are using their phone or they will evolve into a race of mutants with a bat-like ability to sense motion through antennae in their forehead.

Either way, we win.

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