The Question: Was John F. Kennedy alive 90 seconds before his fatal shooting in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
The Answer: Yes, he was. But, how can we be sure? (Hey, that’s another question).
Because, new footage of JFK’s motorcade in Dallas has surfaced, dumbass. Amateur photographer George Jefferies took the footage and held onto it for more than 40 years. Jefferies mentioned it in a casual conversation with his son-in-law, Wayne Graham, and the two agreed to donate it to the Sixth Floor Museum in Dallas, which focuses on Kennedy’s life and assassination.
A casual conversation about film that you took on a day that the world changed? I wonder what they talk about when something really important happens?
George: Hey, did I ever show you this? [running projector]
Wayne: Cool. That pink outfit looks familiar. Is this from that time you went to Dallas? [rubbing chin]
George: Yeah. It was stuck in with those pictures of a blank Mount Rushmore and that junk I shot at that military base in New Mexico.
Wayne: So, you’ve been sitting on this for what … 43 years?
George: Well, I was waiting for the media shit-storm to die down, but I guess it won’t.
Wayne: No, not as long as The History Channel is around. They’re running a special on Thursday. It’s the 43 year-3 month anniversary. An all-day marathon. “Who Killed Kennedy?”, “Who Wanted to Kill Kennedy?”, “Who Would Have Killed Kennedy if Somebody Didn’t Already?”, “Who Would Kennedy Have Killed if He Knew Somebody Was Trying to Kill Him?” and “Who Killed the Guy Who Wanted to Kill Kennedy?” Oy. Hours and hours.
I meant to call you a couple of weeks ago, but you were at Anna Nicole’s place…
George: Hmmm … yeah. I’ll tell you about that someday.
Wayne: Oh yeah, sure. In 2050!
George: What’s this about killing Kennedy?
Wayne: Never mind. So, ya wanna put it on Ebay?
George: No. I’m still trying to get somebody to bid on that lock of Britney’s hair. Skeptical bastards. [mumbling under his breath].
Wayne: Shut up and run that film again. I think I saw Dick Cheney in the crowd.
The Question: Was John F. Kennedy alive 90 seconds before his fatal shooting in 
Comments
What the hell?
Waited ALL these years with the footage?
So when is Oliver Stone gonna give us the "real" story?
Oh wait. He's too busy sucking up to the neocons now.
Nevermind.
Who would have screwed Kennedy in the Lincoln bedroom if he hadn't been shot?
or
Who would have run against Kennedy in 1964?
or
What alien race would have contacted Kennedy and told him to stay the hell out of space until you people learned to play nice with each other?