Sunday, August 27, 2006

The Cure for Writer's Block


I just returned from my weekly sojourn to the supermarket, which you may know, is one of my (least) favorite cultural experiences. But, it is necessary, so I persevere. Suffix: severe.

My local supermarket has installed the sanitizing towelettes outside, so that we can wipe off the snotty residue of our fellow shoppers, for a safe and clean shopping experience. Pick your nose, sneeze, cough and scratch yourself. It's OK, we'll clean up after you.
Of course, since I didn't shave today and left the house in gym shorts and a football jersey - looking kinda ratty, I ran into a woman I know. I had to do a quick "hello", since I was not prepared for a stop-and-chat. Then, of course, for the remainder of the trip it was essential that I avoid her - peering around every aisle to see if I was going to run into her again. Sometimes, it's required to skip a lane to get out of the shopping rhythm. Mission accomplished on that one.
I think it's interesting that laundry detergents are all one-syllable names: Bold, Tide, Surf, Gain, Fab, Cheer, Biz, Yes, Wisk and All. Someone should contact Arm & Hammer's marketing department. They should change the name to Arm, like Sears did with Roebuck.

I had a hankering for some nuts. Nothing looked better than Planter's Deluxe Mixed Nuts. They were next to the regular mixed nuts, and a dollar more a can. But, they were Deluxe. I can't pass up a deluxe nut. I guess they were raised in a better quality of dirt? I think Mr. Peanut was giving me the finger and laughing at me, but I don't know.
I picked up a container of pre-cooked chicken parts to mix with some rice for lunches this week. The 10-ounce container told me in big, bold lettering that it contained 66% More! ... and in smaller lettering ... than the 6-ounce size. Thanks, Butterball. I knew I would use that high school math later in life.
For some reason, when I line up the junk on the little conveyor, the courtesy-bagger-kid that the store employs to help us disappears for some reason. Just because I look like a homeless football player is no reason to desert me in my hour of need.
Anyway, I'm home in time for the Emmy Awards - where television pats itself on the back. Aside from wanting Jaime Pressly to win, I couldn't care less. I'm going to wash my hands and find out exactly what is so "Deluxe" about those nuts other than the price.
This just in: Jaime lost out to the woman in Will and Grace. There truly is no accounting for tastes.

5 comments:

Kate Michele said...

Wow your supermarket gives those out?? I carry them in my oversized bag...I wipe EVERYTHING down before the boys touch it...immune systems ya know!!

I forgot about the emmys...did Grey's Anotomy win anything??

Anthony said...

I didn't see any winners for Grey's:
http://tv.yahoo.com/feature/emmynominees06.html

but, like i said, I don't pay much attention to the awards shows
anymore.

The supermarket just started giving out the hand wipes. Someone must
have complained.
I read something a few days ago that all the anti-bacterial stuff
we're using is making it harder for antibiotic pills to do their work. I
don't know, but it does seem like we're getting more "dainty" as a
society.

Carmen said...

That is just WAY too much actual thinking about supermarket stuff. :) I hate to grocery shop, so I just rush in and out, barely looking at what I bought.

And I fell asleep before the Emmys. Oh well.

Anthony said...

I do my best thinking at the supermarket! :)

Most of the time I speed-shop, but I will slow down to look for bargains once in a while - especially laundry detergent.

Kate Michele said...

Grocery shopping is my ME time!! San babies!