My Sick Mind

"Have you ever heard of insect politics? Neither have I. Insects don't have politics. They're very brutal. No compassion, no compromise."  - Brundlefly "The Fly" (1986)   Facebook is a happy place.   I'm not sure if I have covered that.  If I haven't, then yes , it is a happy place.  We post things about our vacations, the foods we eat and the friends we 'hang with' along the way.   I don't know if people still do it - since I've ceased to receive Christmas cards - but there used to be this thing that circulated where family members wrote letters updating others on their activities throughout the year. It was greeted with the same anticipation as a dose of The Clap.  And the vacation slide shows. Those were great invitations to receive, too.  "Hey, come over and look at photos of all the places you didn't go."   Combine those two things, and you have The Facebook Experience.   That's the "happy ...

Now that we have uncovered your deep-seeded need to be liked (or loved), let's now turn to your other need - to passive/aggressively face people on the Internet.  Oh - now.   The ease at which we confront each other on these posts and comments is of great sociological interest to me.  The distance and anonymity of the interaction leads to all sorts of interesting (and, dare I say, honest) commentary over what is proposed.  Here, one can be CrazyGuy99 and post a comment about what a jackass the poster is, and live to tell about it.  Chances are, the poster isn't aware of who CrazyGuy99 is, and even if he did know, the probability of retribution is minimized by the proximity of the commenter.  It's simple social math.   On the Facebook, however, the commenter is generally one of your (so-called) friends, and as such, their identity is known.  Even if your profile photo is that of a flower or a cat, your name is attached to the comment, ...

If there was ever an Internet site created for this generation, it's Facebook.  Why, you ask?   Because it feeds into our desire to be noticed.  There are 310 million people in the United States and approximately 7.16 billion on the Earth, consisting of the World Wide Web.  It is difficult to stand out in such a crowd.  Unless, of course, you promote yourself and raise your hand to the Internet and say, "Hey, look at me!"  That's what Facebook is.   It was created as many things are:  Innocently.   As a method to keep track of new friends and track down old ones.  The more people logged-on, the better your chances.  You might be searching for a lost high school sweetheart or making new "friends" (Facebook friends, as differs from real friends) or just hanging around to see what pops up.   What pops up are posts from people who are screaming "Hey, look at this!  I just bought a new thing/took a vacation/ate ...

Of all the fast-food-pretending-to-be-real-food restaurants, my favorite is Chili's.  Maybe it's because they can't seem to decide whether they're Tex/Mex or just a burger joint or it's those awesome Black Bean Burgers that I wind up eating with a knife and fork.  Either way, I enjoy participating in their identity crisis.   Now, they are welcoming us to the 21st Century with a new and (they say) exciting development.  The Touch-Screen .  Even though I loved it when Wawa instituted them several years ago, I'm not sure I want to go to a sit-down restaurant and talk to a computer.  It takes something away from the "Hi, I'm Brad and I'll be your server" experience.  Although, I don't understand why Brad cannot bring my order out.  Usually, it comes from whichever server happens to be standing by the kitchen when the plate goes out.  I suppose that's part of their policy.  But I digress.   At the Wawa, they would usually screw...

Forbes Magazine has published its annual list of the top-earning celebrities: Simon Cowell  $95 million Howard Stern $95 million Glenn Beck  $90 million Oprah Winfrey  $77 million Dr. Phil McGraw  $73 million Rush Limbaugh  $66 million Donald Trump  $63 million Ryan Seacrest  $61 million What is the common thread?   None of them do anything to directly benefit society.  They are either telling us how to behave, whom we should like or expressing some opinion, as though we cannot form our own ideas. You can debate the relative usefulness of each of these to society - or not.  It doesn't take a huge amount of evaluation to come to the conclusion that of the eight listed, none of them have any real day-to-day value to our lives, yet they earn salaries that most of us could live on for three lifetimes.  That is disconcerting. The question to ask is "Why does society value these people so highly?"  Afte...

Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Riley Cooper used "the N word" (nigger, OK) in a fit of rage at a concert about two months ago.  The video of the slur came out yesterday and the Internet and other forms of media area worked-up over his poor choice of words. Opinion is divided as to his intent or the manner in which he spoke the word.  Some would say alcohol played a part and others would say that alcohol was a fuel in the fire.  Either way, he said it and that seems to be the problem. For those of us old enough to have been alive long enough to remember a world without cell phone video or YouTube links, the  incident is amazing.  Let's say, in 1985, this incident would have either gone unreported or have been reported with "word of mouth" testimony that could have been refuted by the defendant. The youth of today is totally wired-in with Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and other forms of instant media, where they can post video of whatever stupid th...

I was listening to a local radio show this morning, and they were interviewing a guy who had just won (for what it's worth) a Smallest Penis Contest.  Logic (and good taste) would make someone wonder why a man would enter such a contest, but that didn't seem to be the focal point of the interview. Among other things, the amount of money he won was in question. He won the princely sum of $200 for his efforts, along with a crown (of course) and a magnifying glass. For the record (as if there is one) his unofficial measurement was two inches when flaccid, which I didn't consider a World Record-Setting number, but nevertheless ... The thought occurred (which is dangerous, I know) that people seem more concerned with some form of fame than they do with their own personal image.  Modern television has become a showcase for embarrassing oneself, displays of scripted reality, and exposing our faults and foibles for entertainment purposes. Witness programs like ...

Lonely is as lonely does. Lonely is an eyesore. - Kristin Hersh (Throwing Muses) " Fish " He's called The Lone Ranger, even though he has a faithful companion.  I'm not sure of the literary reference, but on its face it seems strange.  Those of us without companions in life have issues to confront that are foreign to many of you.  One is the experience of being The Lone Diner. I don't get out much.   Either because of economics or social inertia.  Either way, the difficulty of dining alone settles in whenever I do venture out with the general public.  It is more difficult strategically than logistically.  After all, there is almost always a "table for one," and the only social awkwardness comes in when I take up a table otherwise meant for a group of four.  That's their cross to bear for being so damned popular, I suppose. My recent trip to New York City reminded me of what goes into the experience of dining alone. I ...

I'm thinking back to when I was a child Way back fo when I was a tot. When I was on embryo A tiny speck. Just a dot. When I was a Hershey bar In my father's back pocket. - Laurie Anderson "Smoke Rings" The winner of "The Lucky Sperm Contest" was announced yesterday.  Princess Wigglesworth and Prince Valiant had a baby boy, and the world could breathe a sigh of relief as it apparently came out with ten fingers and toes and was of the proper race and pale skin color, in keeping with His Royal Highnessness. It got me to thinking - as such nonsense often does - as to how we are selected to win (or lose) these genetic lotteries.  How does the Royal Sperm become the Royal Sperm? I suspect that most of you haven't given much thought as to how you became who you are.  Either because it's pointless to consider or difficult to grasp.  Whatever, the notion is interesting to me.  Perhaps I am selling you short, and you have given t...

The defendant wants to hide the truth because he's generally guilty. The defense attorney's job is to make sure the jury does not arrive at that truth. Alan Dershowitz This week, I had first-hand knowledge of that idea.  I served three days on a Petit Jury in a criminal case that could have just as easily been decided by a team of monkeys.  But, it's our system and I'm proud of it. Even though I have been a registered voter for 37 years, this week was only the second time I have been selected to serve on a jury. Like many others, my immediate thought was, "How do I get out of this?"  However, my inner voice said, "If you were on trial, wouldn't you want someone like me on the jury?"  My answer was, "yes," and so I proceeded to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The selection process was interesting.   Approximately 75 of us gathered in the courtroom, and the judge randomly called numbers correspo...

OK, so this Paula Deen thing. So, if I have it straight (and it really doesn't matter if I do not) some years ago, she used the word nigger (that which you would term the "N-word") in some manner of discourse.  Now, her television program has been cancelled and her corporate sponsors have abandoned her because of it.  I think that's pretty much it. What the masses fail to note is that the people at The Food Network (a real television station) have realized is that people like Paula Deen fall from the trees.  As such, they have determined that any blip in her media radar will determine her fate. Ergo, when she says nigger, they say, goodbye.  And it's on to the next big media chef.  Simple.  There are no first amendment rights that have been trampled upon.  Merely, a company has determined that their standards do not equate with the standards of their employees.  Paula will not be prosecuted under the full extent of the law.  ...

Sunday is Father's Day. My father died on April 3, 1967.   He suffered from arteriosclerosis, or as we were told, hardening of the arteries.  In those days, the treatment involved taking nitroglycerin pills and baking fish for dinner every night. As the end grew closer, we decided to take a few day trips and short vacations.  I wasn't told, but I knew that his days were growing short.  At one point, he was put in Cooper Hospital, in their Intensive Care Unit.  When he got out, it was still against the rules for a child to go up and visit him.  My mother hid me inside her raincoat and got me into the elevator so that I could go up and see him.  I remember how happy he was to see me and getting a big hug from him.  How could a hospital deny a child the right to see his father, I wondered in my child's mind? This was the man who threw my first baseball at me and allowed me to hit left-handed, even though most of the world hit right-ha...

New Jersey has been running TV and radio ads proclaiming victory over "Superstorm" Sandy. Side note:  I'm not sure how this thing got to be called a "Superstorm."  I've studied meteorology and I've never run across the term Superstorm. It was a hurricane .  TV turned it into a Superstorm. OK, now we've gotten that straight. Let's move on. I've been listening to those " Stronger than the storm " ads for a while now, and I'm a little put off by them.  "How?" you ask.  It's like this: First, you are not stronger than the storm.  The storm kicked your ass. Second, the Jersey shore is all about the boardwalk, beach, rental properties, and commerce.  That's what the ad campaign is aimed at.  There's nothing about people - just implied images of how you should come back to the shore this summer and spend your money because the state spent the whole spring getting all their businesses back so ...

  The problem I have with the gun control issue is that guns are such a pervasive factor in our lives, that it bothers me.  If you have a gun and you do something wrong with it, we will find a bigger gun and kill you with it.  That's where I fall off the tracks.  Which part of "bigger gun" makes the reaction sensible?  They have ceased to be a method of self-defense and have beco me instruments of destruction, which, I suppose is their sole purpose, when you get down to brass tacks.   There is that part of the argument that alleges that our retaliation makes sense in light of your mistake.  We'll kill you because you killed us.  The vindictiveness of it all distresses me.   Part of it is a reaction borne of anger and part of it is that "eye for an eye" attitude that pervades society.  If you make a mistake, we will make you pay for it in like fashion.   I am more interested in motive and behavior than ret...

I was going to write about a confrontation I had at the gym today, involving a spin class and what one perceived as a slight and I perceived as my preference - but that took a back seat to something that happened recently involving my favorite social interaction, Facebook.   George Carlin did a bit about how being an asshole was relative to the distance.  Someone on TV was really AN ASSHOLE. The guy in the car who cut you off is An Asshole, and the one next to you in line was [whispering] pretty much of an asshole.   Distance is a great defender.  Such is the case with the Internet.   In this environment, we can comment, tweak or otherwise say things that we wouldn't normally say to people to their face.  It's a great insulator.  Even when we have a named sign-in and people know us (like on Facebook) we feel free to stop over, pick fights and leave. Likewise, our posts on Facebook and Twitter can be dissected and analyzed to the exte...

"All that dies, dies for a reason. To put its strength into the season." - Survival , Yes I remember when I bought Yes' "Fragile" album.   I was at the Record Museum store in Audubon, early in 1972.  I had heard Roundabout on the radio and wanted to know what else was going on.  I took the album outside and pried open the shrink-wrap.  This was the day of LPs, and some of them had amazing artwork.  Roger Dean's cover and album artwork is iconic.  I sat and gazed at it.  When I got the record home and listened, a love affair was born. Forward to September 13, 1972.   Yes released "Close to the Edge," and being the hip 15-year-old that I was, I had read about the album in Circus magazine.  I invaded the Franklin Music store in the Echelon Mall and asked a clerk if they had the album.  It was in a carton of them below the display rack.  They hadn't put them out yet.  I was the first person in Camden County to have...

I awoke (abruptly) at 3:00am and found myself thinking back to my high school days.  My thoughts drifted to a geometry teacher we had who would start most of his sentences with "Um, supposing..."   And it wasn't the normal 'um' that some of us use when we are trying to connect our thoughts. This um was a major pronouncement - as though he was proclaiming some monumental thought.   Um Like that.   The thing I remembered was that we used to keep track of the "um's" and the "supposings" with those hand-written roman numeral charts like I suppose Nero used to use when he was deciding who he would throw to the lions [do not research my historical reference]   Those of us who were in the gang would laugh amongst ourselves and gaze knowingly whenever he would say "um" or "supposing," and laugh harder and gaze more staringly when he would use "Um, supposing" in the same sentence.  That was a real hol...

The Internet is a great source of information.   Some of the information, however, is crap.  And there's no place like Facebook for crap.  So-called "friends" can share posts with other so-called "friends" and the friends accept it as fact because, well - it's on the Internet, and it must be true. Or crap. I had three shares on my Facebook page today, and each one took about two minutes to search and destroy. The first one  was a post about drunk driving, with a gruesome photograph of a woman allegedly thrown through a car windshield after allegedly being involved in an accident allegedly involving drunk driving. It contained the text:   went to the party and remembered what you said. You asked me not to drink alcohol, so I drank a Sprite instead. I felt proud of myself, as you said I should feel. You said I should not drink and drive, contrary to what some friends told me. I made a healthy choice and your advice was correct, as it always is. A...

Every so often, one of my sixteen readers will ask, "Why don't you update your blog more often?"  And to them I say, "Parachutes." Because that makes as much sense as anything else I could say.   It is true that I don't write as much as I used to.  It's partly due to the fact that most of what I think has already been written and partly because I have come to the grim realization that what I write doesn't matter.   Drivers merging onto freeways don't yield ( even though the sign says "Yield"), people still throw their trash everywhere and we still celebrate New Year's Day .  Life goes on in spite of my protest or angst over it.  Nothing changes.   We live in our little worlds.   It seems that the more "worldly" we become, the more our world shrinks.  We are hooked-up to the Internet via our phones, which are really tiny handheld computers, and the size of our sphere of influence extends as far as our circ...