My Sick Mind

I bought a new Tokina 12-24mm zoom lens with money that Uncle Sam repaid me from my income taxes, and decided to take it to my favorite city for a spin. For those of you who still like the ranting, go back a day . Others of you can take solace in some photos I took today, and visit my Flickr stream (whatever that is) for the whole set. As usual, if you click on the photo it may enlarge, but I have no idea how this stuff works. I always start at Independence Hall. It's what Nevada Weir would call "creative inertia." Take a photo and the rest will follow, like inertia. A body that is in motion remains in motion. It's a nice way to think about working. Start using the camera, even if the photo you are taking isn't particularly interesting, it helps to start. A dogwood tree (I think, I'm not up on trees) near 3rd and Chestnut Street stood out among the cityscape. The pinkness caught my eye. Elfreth's Alley is a residential alley. It is one of the olde...

Fear mongering (or scare mongering) is the use of fear to influence the opinions and actions of others towards some specific end. The feared object or subject is sometimes exaggerated, and the pattern of fear mongering is usually one of repetition, in order to continuously reinforce the intended effects of this tactic, sometimes in the form of a vicious circle . These are high times for fear mongering. Not since the great Swine Flu scare of ... oh, 6 months ago have we experienced such a spate of nonsense coming from people who profess to know something about nothing. It's the latest epidemic. They call it "Obamacare" and talk about us living in the "USSA," because they are afraid that what is going on now in politics will ultimately be bad for the country. These are the same people who stood by over the last 8 years and watched a complete nincompoop run us into the ground. Where were their words of warning then? Afterward, they watched John McCain pick a dim...

Attention Mothers: If you have a small child tagging along with you on your daily errands, please do not allow that child to use something complicated like a bar code scanner or anything with numbered buttons because you think it's "cute" or because you think Junior will "learn something." He won't learn anything, it isn't cute and it slows the pace for adults (like you) who already know how to use those gadgets. Teach Junior at home.

Fear is a great motivator. Some can use it in a positive way, while others choose to use it to panic and violence. Unrest over sweeping federal health care legislation has turned to vandalism and threats, with bricks hurled through Democrats' windows, a propane line cut at the home of a congressman's brother and menacing phone messages left for lawmakers who supported the bill. The FBI is investigating the instances, which include shattered windows at four Democratic offices in New York, Arizona and Kansas. At least 10 members of Congress have reported some sort of threat as of Wednesday, and no arrests have been made . Some narrow-minded people think that flinging bricks and screaming equals social commentary. And for some strange reason, those people are always on the side of the Republican right. Why do you suppose that is? Could it be that rage and violence represent their best ideas? The brick flung through the window of a county Democratic Party office in Rochester, ...

A 2009 survey conducted for the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children found that 19 percent of teens had sent, received or forwarded nude or nearly nude photos through text message or e-mail. When I was a kid we passed paper notes to each other. I remember a girl in my freshman year of high school that used to look up "dirty words" in the dictionary, write the definition down and pass it around to us. Words like penis, vagina and breast. They weren't really dirty, but we were kids with AM radio, 6 channels on the TV and a repressed sex drive. A product of our times. At 52, the list of people willing to send, receive or forward nude or nearly nude photos through text message or e-mail is noticeably small. I didn't have a telephone in my bedroom until I was 17, so I can't imagine having a cell phone at that age, but kids are running around with smart phones with text message plans and Internet access. I'm guessing that their parents don't k...

Face it, if it weren't for the fact that most of us have money riding on this NCAA basketball tournament, we wouldn't give a tinker's damn if Ohio beat Kansas or Purdue beat Pittsburgh. We like lotteries, and this is the biggest one in the country. It's even better because we don't have to declare taxes on the money we win (if) and we get to tell the people at work how smart we are, even though we don't know a wit about whether Kansas State is better than Baylor. All we know are the numbers. A three-seed is supposed to beat a ten-seed and there's no way a 12 seed can beat a 5, unless you're Cornell - then you're a genius if you picked Cornell. However, if Ohio beats Kansas it's some sort of anomaly because there is no way Ohio should have won that game. Unless, of course, the NCAA committee who picks the seeds has made a grievous error, which is what we will claim, since we are too smart to think that Kansas could possibly lose. We get wrapped ...

WASHINGTON TOWNSHIP, N.J. – Police say they have made an arrest in the case of a racial comment being made over the public-address system at a Wal-Mart store in southern New Jersey. The Washington Township Police Department said on its Web site early Saturday that an arrest has been made in a "bias incident" at the retail store. The posting says the police and Gloucester County Prosecutor's Office will announce the arrest at a midday news conference. Washington Township Police declined to comment early Saturday. A male voice came over the Wal-Mart public address system Sunday evening and calmly announced: "Attention, Wal-Mart customers: All black people, leave the store now." The announcement provoked an immediate apology from the store manager. Officials for Bentonville, Arkansas-based Wal-Mart Stores Inc., said the announcement was "unacceptable." It was unacceptable, but was it illegal ? Suppose he had said, "All fat people leave the store...

This was a news story: Anderson Cooper may be a respected newsperson, but the CNN anchor didn't display his extensive knowledge of trivia on Thursday night's " Celebrity Jeopardy! " In a competition with actress Aisha Tyler and comedian Cheech Marin , Cooper tied for second (or, depending on how you look at it, last) place with Tyler, after Marin beat them both. With a final score that totaled $0, Cooper missed questions about world leaders, geography and literature, among other topics. By the time "Final Jeopardy" came around, he was so stumped by a question about the author of "The Wizard of Oz" that his screen displayed simply the word "Who." Who indeed. Like, "Who is on an overrated game show that is supposed to be a test of ones knowledge, when it is actually just a stupid game show?" The answer is: Jeopardy contestants. It is long removed from the days when Art Fleming hosted what was billed as a test of knowledge. Fr...

I was standing in line at the supermarket, in front of a guy talking on his cell phone. His friend had apparently sprung some pearl of wisdom during their conversation, prompting him to reply, "Well, you learn something new every day!" I thought, "No, you don't." It's a nice notion that, no matter how long you've lived or what you've done, you can always stand to learn something. But some days (today included) I didn't learn anything. What do you learn? Your tolerance for alcohol? How late you can sleep and still arrive at work on time? How long you can listen to your cat whine for food (even though he just ate 10 minutes ago) until you give in and feed him again? Why you shouldn't put regular dish detergent in your dishwasher? How many items you can put on the "10 items or less" aisle before people complain? All valuable lessons, but you already knew that stuff. You just forgot. Or that a year at Cornell University costs $52,00...

It's March, and you know what that means. That's right, woodchuck chuckers, it's March Madness ! Since you've probably already filled out a "bracket," I can go ahead and give you my Final Four picks and you can't blame me if you have the same teams. By the way, why do they call it the "Final Four" when there are still three games left to play? I don't know sometimes. The other thing I get sick of hearing is the word bracket . Check your bracket. How's your bracket? It hasn't even started yet and I'm already tired of hearing it. Anyway, it's Kentucky , Baylor , Syracuse and Kansas ; with Kentucky and Kansas meeting in the final and the Jayhawks winning the thing. I'm also picking Cornell to beat Temple in the first round and Richmond to beat Villanova in the second round, so you know I'm clueless. But I feel like I can tell you, since I spent ten bucks on a pool at work. Chances are, some other clueless person ...

I got my 2010 Census form in the mail today. There is a proclamation on the front of the envelope that warns YOUR RESPONSE IS REQUIRED BY LAW . Which law? According to the Frequently Asked Questions , it's Title 13, Section 221 of the United States Code, whatever that is. They claim to be able to fine you $5,000 if you do not cooperate with the census, but view it as a last resort. I wonder why it's necessary at all. The paper census seems like an antiquated notion from the days when The Three Stooges canvassed from house to house with a big book, asking questions. I get the feeling that the U.S. Census Bureau is one of those big government institutions that nobody has the guts to shut down. For a government with so many budget problems, I'd guess that one of the first places to start cutting fat is with a bureau that counts people with paper mail-in forms. They tell me that my answers will "be used to decide the number of representatives each state has in the U.S...

One of the things we have to decide upon as humans is the impact of things that we do on our daily lives. That is, what benefit do we derive from things that others think is necessary? If you had to make a decision on something based on the benefit it gives you, what would you decide on things like Facebook, Twitter and the now-antiquated MySpace? I'd guess that the benefit is nearly zero, and that you are only on those so-called social networking sites because other people you know are on them. But, when is the last time you did something merely because everyone else does it? If Johnny Finnegan jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge, would you jump off, too? That's the question that our parents would ask us whenever we told them that we were doing something because everyone else did it. Somehow, the Facebook and Twitter thing became popular - probably because our friends started doing it and we felt like we should do it too, or else we would be left behind. What we failed to rea...

Never doubt the power of my B.S. detector. As we read here on Tuesday , the so-called runaway Prius driver is a big lying sack of crap. James Sikes, the San Diego runaway Toyota Prius driver, filed for bankruptcy in 2008 and now has over $700,000 in debt. According to one anonymous tipster, we're also told he hasn't been making payments on his Prius. Sikes and his wife Patty found themselves, like many in the California real estate business, on the bursting side of the real estate bubble last year. The two declared bankruptcy in June of 2008 and have a combined liability of over $700,000 in debt. Among the list of creditors holding secured claims is none other than Toyota Financial Services for a lease on a 2008 Toyota Prius with 7,200 miles on the odometer. Total value of the lease at the time of bankruptcy was $20,494. According to this web site's research , Sikes has "a history of items in his possession being stolen and filing insurance claims." You can ...

In spite of (or perhaps because of)plus-60 degree temperatures this week, one particular patch of month-old snow refuses to die. I'm looking to borrow a flame thrower so that I can go out and put this nonsense to an end once and for all. I don't think I would be convicted by any court in the country. Snow be tough. My latest "toy" is a Samsung Impression. It's called a phone, but it's really something more. When it becomes available, I'm subscribing to MLB Gameday Audio so I can listen to games on my "phone" during the day (while I am at "work.") Although I'm having a bit of buyer's remorse for not going full-bore and getting the iPhone, so far, the Impression has been a nice addition to my addiction to texting and goofing around. I can get to my Facebook page (ugh) Twitter and my e-mail, and if the MLB thing works like it is supposed to (does anything work like it's supposed to?) I'll be happy with this for a cou...

Bill Cosby used to do a bit about UFOs. He was curious as to why they always landed in rural areas and met backwoods types who had fewer teeth than fingers. Why didn't they land in the middle of New York City or in a football stadium? What logic would conclude from such events is that they are made up because there are few witnesses and as such, it became one person's word against ... well, nobody. The opposite could also be true. Yesterday, so we are told... EL CAJON, Calif. – The government sent investigators Tuesday to examine a Prius that sped out of control on a California freeway, and Toyota said it wanted to interview the driver as the besieged automaker dealt with a high-profile new headache that raised questions about the safety of its beloved hybrid. A day after state troopers helped the car slow to a stop and its driver to emerge unharmed, Toyota could shed no new light on what might have gone wrong. The Prius is not part of Toyota's vast recall of gas pedal...

I don't know why we (people) get so worked up over awards shows. The Grammy 's, the Emmy 's and the Academy Awards get a lot of attention while most of us have to get up and go to work tomorrow. Maybe it's because we like to see that a movie or song that we like gets an award for being a movie or song that a lot of people like? We like to think that our tastes reflect what society thinks. Some of us (me) don't give a crap what society thinks, and as a matter of fact, if I like something that society likes I start to wonder why I like it, because the masses of people are clueless. They will give out the Oscars tonight, and the biggest change (other than saying "the Oscar goes to" instead of "the winner is") is that there are now 10 films nominated instead of the customary five. It's the Little League version of award shows, but mostly it is so that the nominated films can reap the profits from being nominated. It's always about money. ...

Gimme a reason. What's in your brain? - Umphrey's McGee "Andy's Last Beer" I don't know what people are thinking no more than I know what bears or ducks are thinking. They're thinking something, for sure, but what - I do not know. Like waiting around for the telephone to ring (or whatever it is that phones do now) is horrifying. The people we're waiting on don't know the anguish they are putting us through. All they know is what's in their brain - which isn't close to what's in ours. That's the worst. The call wait. It's agonizing. But it makes a nice haiku: give me a reason. i don't know what you're thinking. what is in your brain? OK. That's out of my system. People tell me I'm "a catch." I think it's like those little sunfish we used to catch out of the lake back home. Small enough to throw back but not nice enough to keep or care about. Part of our Internet-based throwaway society is that we ...

Another earthquake. Chile this time. That's the problem with earthquakes - you never know where the next one is going to strike. So, while thousands of Americans are building support for Haiti, the earth has beat them to it with another giant tremor in South America. This one was so big that it jarred the earth off its axis to the point that the guys at NASA think that the earth's days are a thousandth of a second shorter than they were two weeks ago. Take that, Haiti pussies. Your earthquake sucked. I had to call a customer service line today. I got the standard “Your call is important to us. All our representatives are currently helping other customers. Please hold until a customer service representative is available.” So I held. Don’t you get the impression that there is a large room filled with busy service reps busily taking phone calls? I do. I picture a big warehouse with little divided cubicles and people wearing headsets. The truth is that there are probably two or ...

Our postal service is in trouble again, and as usual, they're going to lean on us: WASHINGTON - The post office is renewing its drive to drop Saturday delivery — and plans a rate increase — in an effort to fend off a projected $7 billion loss this year. Without drastic action the agency could face a cumulative loss of $238 billion over 10 years, Postmaster General John Potter said in releasing a series of consultant reports on agency operations and its outlook. "The projections going forward are not bright," Potter told reporters in a briefing. We have heard this before, and especially over the past 10 years. The U.S. Postal Service is dying, a victim of both bad management and lack of demand for their services. I defend them all the time, but it's growing stale. Routinely someone else's mail is left in my mailbox, and I can't help but wonder how many times my mail has been left in others' boxes. It stands to reason. It's kind of a simple job, and ...