I've been on a 30-day diet for 2 weeks. So far, I've lost 14 days

This story caught my eye tonight. It's no secret that we eat too much. Everywhere we go, we are told that we are too fat. Words like Morbidly Obese are used, and often, people are buried in piano cases or have to be lifted out of their house like a Chevy engine. The reasons are simple. We eat more than we need to lead our generally sedentary lifestyle. 1200 calories for women and 1500 for men are the general guidelines for people if they're trying to lose weight. In combination with a little exercise the pounds will come off.

Unless, however, you venture into one of these fashionable establishments and order a platter that, on its face looks like a nice choice. Words like Salad, Pecan, Chicken, Grill and Broccoli make them sound like they are healthy choices. The fate lies in the additives: Bacon, Cheese and assorted sauces that drive up the calorie content like George Bush sticks his finger up our ass.

I've gone two days without a rotten comment about the President. I was Jonesing.

Anyway, be careful when you're ordering. Start by staying away from "salads" unless they're the green leafy kind. Potato is a salad too, and so is Macaroni.
If something looks like it's too good to be true, it usually is. Either take half of it out for a homeless person or don't order it at all. Either way, you'll get more than an adequate number of calories.
Here's the hit list:

Bob Evans Cranberry Pecan Chicken Salad
(1,108 calories, 63g fat, 2,741mg sodium, 63g carbs, 7g fiber, 43g sugars, 40g protein)

Hardee's Southwest Chicken Salad
(1,100 calories, 83g fat, 1,910mg sodium, 59g carbs, 4g fiber, 6g sugars, 29g protein)

Bob Evans Chili & Cheese Taco Salad
(1,381 calories, 72g fat, 3,263mg sodium, 182g carbs, 23g fiber, 30g sugars, 42g protein)

Chili's Mesquite Chicken Salad with Dressing
(1,050 calories, 69g fat, 3,110 sodium, 56g carbs, 11g fiber, 58g protein)

McDonald's Chicken Selects Premium Breast Strips (10 piece)
(1,270 calories, 66g fat, 3,100mg sodium, 92g carbs, 0g fiber, 77g protein)

P.F. Chang's Orange Peel Chicken
(1,151 calories, 47g fat, 127g carbs, 61g protein)

Macaroni Grill Honey Balsamic Chicken
(1,220 calories, 67g fat, 2,750mg sodium, 94g carbs, 10g fiber, 57g protein)

Chili's Monterey Chicken
(1,170 calories, 71g fat, 3,530mg sodium, 70g carbs, 8g fiber, 72g protein)

P.F. Chang's Beef with Broccoli (dinner portion)
(1,120 calories, 65g fat, 38g carbs, 93g protein)

And the winner and new champion...

Ruby Tuesday Fresh Chicken & Broccoli Pasta
(2,061 calories, 128g fat, 109g net carbs, 13g fiber)

Holy shit, Hannah! That's more than a day's required calories in one meal. Nice, if you can cut it up and pick at it from 8am to 7pm. It might get cold.
By the way, the body can only process 30 grams of protein in a sitting, so anything more than that goes wherever wasted protein goes.

Also on the list was the Burger King Triple Whopper at 1130 calories and 74 grams of fat. Sure, like I couldn't have figured that out. If you're going out for lunch and you're eating a Triple Whopper, fries and a drink (the deadly Combo Meal) you're probably stowing away about 2000 calories. Don't wonder why your belt is a little tight and your shirt pockets are screaming. It's man boobs in a bag.

Should come with a Mansierre.