Amazing Coincidences

Dear Amazon.com Customer,
We've noticed that customers who have expressed interest in Faith Hope Love by King's X have also ordered Create the Health, Vitality and Energy You Deserve: Energy for Life by Anthony Robbins. For this reason, you might like to know that Anthony Robbins's Create the Health, Vitality and Energy You Deserve: Energy for Life is now available. You can order your copy for just $19.98 by following the link below.

Gosh ... thanks Amazon! Actually, it sounds more like a strange coincidence to me, but what do I know? When I was busy ordering a King's X CD, I had no idea that my purchase was spawning a reference file that linked me with another CD by that scary guy with the big teeth that I see on TV way too much. I would have thought that maybe they would link me to his CD because we have the same first name.

And, wouldn't ya think that the guy would catch a shave before they shot the cover to his CD? Maybe he saves all his hygiene energy for making CDs?

MEANWHILE....

Dear New Jersey voter,

As someone who has voted for both George W. Bush and former "Gay American" Governor James McGreevey, we thought you might like to know that New Jersey is to consider cutting the word 'idiot' from its constitution so that people with some mental disabilities won't be barred from voting. We've noticed that people who do stupid things and generally act like idiots have been voting in record numbers. That's why we thought you might like to know that there may be a change to your voter registration.

State Senate President Richard Codey, a Democrat who was previously acting governor of New Jersey, said in a statement the term "idiot" is "outdated, vague, offensive to many and may be subject to misinterpretation."

Here in New Jersey, we prefer to think of idiots as Republicans, who, for the past two elections appear to be suffering from some sort of learning disablilty.