Saturday

My latest cool search that I got from the Stat Counter inspired a little Haiku. Hope you can dig it.

You tube panty poop.
Searching your little heart out.
You do not get shit.
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DETROIT - Alan Mulally, Ford Motor Co.'s new chief executive will get an annual base salary of $2 million and an immediate payout of $18.5 million for taking the job, the company said Friday in a filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission.

Why does no one complain (at least no one I know) about this exhorbitant salary, when almost everyone complains about professional athletes earning the same thing? Maybe because Alan can't hit 50 home runs? All Ford needs is for him to hit one.
Here's a clue, Alan: Alternative fuel. Get a grip. Stop listening to the White House and think for yourself. Give the people what they want - affordable transportation. It ain't the biggest problem in the world - we're only led to believe that it is.

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Look who's talking! People in Miami and Los Angeles chat on their cell phones more than any other Americans, according to a survey of cell phone use in major cities. People in Miami make and receive an average of 298 calls a month -- an average of 9-10 calls daily.

Nine calls? Are you kidding me? I guess I'm not that popular. I don't get nine calls in a week. Either that, or people are calling to talk about nothing. Maybe the text messaging thing is all that it is cracked up to be.

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And where's that Suri Cruise kid? It's been over a day, and I haven't heard anything about her poop or seen her picture anywhere. HELP ME!

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Tomorrow, ABC is going to air a "documentary" (in quotes) about the attacks of September 11, 2001. Use your best judgment when viewing (if you decide to) since it appears that ABC has a political agenda. Click here to see it for yourself.

Distracted Driving:

A Slovak driver who crashed into a bus shocked rescuers who found him unconscious and half naked with a vacuum pump on his penis. Police said the 42-year-old man, driving an old Citroen in the Slovak town of Levice, had ignored a "give way" sign.

Not for nothing, but I think I would have ignored the sign too. No shame, buddy. Just taking care of buisness. Vacuum pump = whatever. You go for it - we're behind you - so to speak. Hey, there's an idea for that Ford guy. Come to think of it, screw the alternative fuel junk. Consumers want vacuum pumps.

NOW YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR!

THE HAGUE (AFP) - Environmental group Greenpeace called on the European Union to ban the use of chemical plastic softeners in sex toys because they contained dangerous substances known as phthalates. "It is unbelievable that such toxic substances can be used in adult toys. We have tested many products in the last few years but never have we encountered such high concentrations," Greenpeace spokesman Bart van Opzeeland said.

Unbelievable? Phhhhttt - alates.