Mennonite, Schmennonite

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Famous Mennonites

Floyd Landis, who was raised conservative Mennonite.
JC Chasez from boy band N'Sync.
Adolph Rupp is a basketball coaching legend.
Cindy Klassen is a Canadian skater and Canada's all-time most decorated Olympian.
Jeff Hostetler is a former NFL quarterback.

Graham Kerr created the cooking show "The Galloping Gourmet."
Simpsons creator Matt Groening is a descendant of Russian Mennonites.
James L. Kraft founded the cheese company J.L. Kraft & Bros. Co., which later became Kraft Foods.
Milton Hershey founded the Hershey Chocolate Company.
Jerome Smucker founded the food conglomerate J. M. Smucker Company, popularly known as Smuckers.
Canadian actor Brendan Fehr stars on the television series "Roswell."
Canadian actress Evangeline Lilly from the TV series "Lost" has some Mennonite ancestry.

I read some things about the Mennonites, but nowhere did it say that they had unusually high levels of testosterone. Certainly not Graham Kerr, and probably not that N'Sync guy, either. Meanwhile, ol' Floyd Landis, it turns out, did have artificially high levels of testosterone in his body during what they told us was his win in the Tour de France, (according to the latest test) and not the naturally high levels he contended he had just a few days ago. So, common sense would tell us that he lied.

Great. Cycling needs another drug scandal the way baseball needs ... ummm ... another drug scandal.

I don't know if people (a) are surprised to hear that a person raised in a strict religious household has lied and cheated (b) are surprised that another cyclist is cheating or (c) they aren't surprised by any of it.

It did look a little odd that Floyd was buried after he bonked on Stage 16, then, less than 24 hours later has the ride of his life and takes off up another mountain and right out of the TV screen to make up most of the 8 minute deficit he lost the day before. Anyone who does any kind of endurance activity knows how tough it is to come back like that, but we bought into it because we wanted to believe that a human is capable of inhuman feats. We're funny that way. We like to believe in Santa Claus, the power of prayer and the indomitable human spirit. When it turns out that the human spirit was helped along by pharmaceuticals, we act surprised, but probably aren't, really.

After the cynicism kicks in, it becomes increasingly difficult to believe that anyone, regardless of their upbringing, religion or social status is incapable of lying or cheating to get what they want out of life. Sad part is, they figure they will get away with it, which I suppose is the last vestige of a scoundrel. But I wouldn't know, since I've never been able to get away with anything, and the people that have would never let us in on it. I guess they can live with themselves, but I can only hope that it eats them up inside.

For now, I still choose to believe that The Simpson's is drawn by real people, and Hershey's is made with real chocolate, and it will take a lot more than another cycling scandal to convince me otherwise.

TOMORROW: A list of famous Satan worshipers and their accomplishments.